This morning the siege of our castle began, just after day break with temperatures below freezing the first enemy engineers turned up and set up their defensive barriers.
Managing to get our two princesses safely away to school we fell back behind our defences as heavy earth moving equipment was brought up to dig a trench across the entrance of our castle (Every English man's home is a caste.) As the morning wore on we heard the work of those who sought to entrap us within our walls. Being unafraid we put the kettle on and made cups of tea and coffee and just to show our contempt did the dirty pots from yesterday.
It was not till later that they sent an envoy under a flag of truce to inform us they would cut off out power supply. We refused to show our fear to this threat and returned to watch Jeremy Kyle. It was then, even before we got to watch This Morning that our power went out and with it we also lost our heating.
Over the next hour the temperature in our castle began to drop so we decided to sally forth and escape on our steed Vauxhall Zaphera to make plans and gather some supplies.
Returning to our castle we found most of the engineers had retreated and in a show of good faith turned our power back on.
Victorious as the sun set we sat back in our now warm castle to drink a few beers and some wine, the only sign of the attack on our castle is a large hole outside that we were promised would be filled in over the next couple of days.
They made excuses about a fault on the electric cable and they'd been sent out to fix it and didn't know anything about a siege of our castle and looked at us quite strangely as we waved our swords in the air at our victory in driving them off.