John the Barman (short story.) part 10

This is a re-post of a short story I first began posting in September 2016, when I first joined steemit.
The story was first published in 2013 as an e-book and is based heavily, in location on my old local pub and my good friend who worked behind the bar.

John the barman-001.jpg

“Not seen you two in here on a night time for a long while. I thought you were working in the Pacific tonight?” John asked as War bent forward to lean on the bar.
“Supposed to have been but it fell through, after the day I’ve had, I really needed a drink before I went home. Two lagers please John,” War grumbled.
Death stood next to his brother. “Seems the new army and navy of Chuuk had a couple of problems on their way to invade Pohnpei’s Oroluk Atoll. One of their boats sprang a leak and had to return home with fifteen members of their army on board. The other two boats continued on, carrying the rest of their invasion force though. It was all very daring,” he explained brightly.
John placed the two drinks before them. “So the invasion still went ahead then.”
“They landed on the Oroluk Atoll and as they moved off the beach and under the trees, a dozen coconuts fell out of the trees onto them. They ended up with ten dead and two with serious injuries, the lack of helmets made it a disaster. They had to withdraw back to the beach as they had lost half their original fighting force before even meeting the enemy.” War explained about the disaster of the invasion and then looked at his brother who sat inspecting his glass. “It was very suspicious.” War added, scowling at him.
“Coconuts kill more people than sharks each year, about one hundred and fifty people get coco-nutted every year. You really need to watch those coconuts, they are very dangerous so it’s a totally normal event for a coconut to fall out of a tree and hit anyone standing under it.” Death replied innocently.
“Apart from the fact they were not standing under coconut trees.”
Death’s eyes bulged slightly as he took a sip of his lager. Carefully he placed the glass back on the bar.
“They weren’t coconut trees? How can you tell? All trees look the same to me.”
“Thousands of years of humans using trees to make weapons, my brother. Plus the fact that there were bunches of bananas in the trees. You ruined my war didn’t you?” War demanded.
“What makes you think I did that?” Death asked, trying to sound innocent.
“The fact that as the Chuuk forces retreated, an American nuclear submarine surfaced to arrest them all. A great big submarine built to hide in war zones and strike unseen just happened to be in an area of ocean that hasn’t seen as much as a cross word since the nineteen forties,” War growled.
“Excuse me,” said a little voice. Both War and Death looked down to see Melanie wearing a Valkyrie helmet and balancing a stack fifteen or so pint glasses. “I need to get through to behind the bar please,” she added with a big smile.
“You’re human,” War said as he stepped back to allow her through. “John, why is there is a human female wearing a Valkyrie helmet in your bar?”
“She’s collecting glasses for me but not sure about the helmet, she’s my barmaid. If you came in on an evening you’d know that Melanie works here, has done for a few months,” John said as Melanie walked behind the bar and headed for the pot washer.
“Oh he finally listened to everyone and hired someone. It’s about time he got some help in,” Death said to his brother War.
Before John could reply, he was called away to serve one of the Mayan gods who stood at the bar swaying drunkenly, grinning at his reflection in the mirrors on the wall behind the bar. As John stood in front of him, the grinning god held up the empty bottle of Jagermeister and his grin got even wider.
“Another bottle?” John asked, the Mayan God nodded happily and held up two fingers. “Another two bottles coming up,” John said, shaking his head.