(I work in a pet store. I have a pet ferret that I bring to work with me on occasion. I put him on a leash and harness and walk him around the store when we aren’t busy.)
Customer: “Godd***, that rat is huge!”
Me: “He’s not a rat; he’s a ferret. They aren’t—”
Customer: “F*** all that scientific bulls! That’s a fing rat! That’s not your pet, is it?”
Me: “Yes, he is. But ferrets are not rodents. They’re mustelids.”
Customer: “A what?! Mustard lid?”
Me: “No, mustelid. They’re in the same family as otters, badgers, and weasels.”
Customer: “What’d you call it? A furret? My friend told me about those. They’ll f***ing bite your nose off!”
Me: “Well, one might, if it feels threatened, but I assure you they are actually very tame and affectionate animals. Would you like to hold him and see?”
(I pick my ferret up and cradle him in my arms like a baby. He immediately goes limp and nuzzles my shirt.)
Customer: hesitantly reaches out to pet him “Uh… well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try—”
(At that moment, my ferret opens his mouth wide for a particularly intense yawn, revealing his formidable canine teeth.)
Customer: “S! That rat ain’t tame! He just tried to take my fing hand off! Crazy b****es and their godd*** face-eating rats!” bolts out the door
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