At this point in my life, I feel that any complaint on my part is insignificant, knowing that there are people who have lost much more than I have. It’s an indescribable feeling that’s making me feel pretty miserable every day; our lives will never be the same, even though we haven’t lost anything. However, we went out for a short walk to clear our heads. We don’t want to go out too much because it’s a bit exhausting to climb so many stairs—since, for obvious reasons, the elevators won’t be working for at least a month… We went out recently, but only to the vet because my kitten was sick, so this is officially our first outing to clear our heads since June 24.
Besides getting some fresh air, we also wanted to see the outside of the building, as well as the places we sometimes visit… To be honest, on the day of the earthquake, we didn’t really take the time to look closely at how the building had fared while we were in the parking lot getting over the shock, because at that moment we still hadn’t fully grasped just how horrible it all had been. We thought, “Okay, it was the worst earthquake I’ve ever experienced, but we’re okay, my mom and my father-in-law are fine, nothing serious happened”—until the power and cell service came back on and we saw that it practically looked like the apocalypse. That’s why we decided to take a closer look at the building and see if there were any cracks on the outside that caught our attention; luckily, there was nothing unusual. But when we went inside the supermarket where we always shop, I was surprised to see that it had several visible signs of damage.
The entrance where people walk through is cordoned off with yellow “DANGER” tape. You can go through the side that’s the entrance for cars; it was when I walked through there that I saw the huge crack right below the stairs and realized why the yellow tape was there...
Also inside that place (which is sort of like a mini-mall), we saw cracks in the floor. I’m really not an expert, so I couldn’t tell you how dangerous those cracks are, but from my perspective, right now I don’t feel safe anywhere—not even in my own home. This situation made me realize that we are NOTHING.
And as the days go by and with the aftershocks—which have been small but have been noticeable—I've noticed that the wall around my air conditioner is cracking a little. It seems to be getting more pronounced every day, and I really don't know what to do.
I haven't been able to think straight; I feel like our lives have come to a complete standstill. I can't rest or feel well, and I can't take my mind off things or fill this emptiness inside me. Even so, we're lucky that our home is still standing.