Hey 
For anyone seeing this out of context, here is the original post to which I am responding…and here (below of course), is my response. Please forgive typos, this was all done on my cracked ass phone 🤣
Image created with StarryAI because I’m not really an illustrator and I whippd his whole thing up and it was originally just supposed to be a comment but I hate having a post with no thumbnail image…
It all started at a strip club outside of Ft. Riley, Kansas. I can’t remember the name, but the guys in my unit at the time went regularly. Personally, I love boobs and all the other stuff, but strip clubs felt less productive to me than just going to a bar and meeting real girls. Anyway, this particular night, I ended up at the strip club with some of my guys. I was pretty well drunk before we got there. If memory serves me (and in this case, there’s no guarantee that she does), I had struck out all night, and finally gave in to the rest of the crowd and accepted that I would be settling for a cash for titties type of transaction that would lead nowhere, but possibly be more fun than the alternative of passing out in the barracks bored and alone.
My first move once I got there was to grab myself a small handful of tequila shots. I was drunk already and the prospects of hooking up were zero in my mind…it was just time to get pissed and howl at the moon a bit. The waitress came to me, alone at my little circular table away from the stage…she was a gorgeous redhead, maybe 22 or 23 years old. She had a little extra meat on her bones, but it looked good on her. She was sweet, her smile made me think of maybe like an Irish barmaid, a hidden gem in some small rural town pub. She laughed at my jokes. She told me she could tell I was wasted, but that I seemed sweet nonetheless. I confirmed and acknowledged my wastedness. I told her I wanted to take her out on a proper date - dinner, tomorrow night, the Mexican place across town. She pulled a pen out from her little strip club waitress apron thing and wrote her number on my arm, and I promised to call…after all, she was a knockout, and so sweet!
The next day I woke up feeling the way you feel after slugging a fifth of tequila. I can’t remember if I had vomit crusted in my face that morning or not, but it wasn’t too uncommon for that to happen in my travellin’ soldier days. Not proud of it, but it is what it is. Anyway, I slowly peel out of that outer layer of stale, crusty drunkenness, into that pounding headache, what did I do and who did I hurt and where are my friends hangover phase, stomach lurching and dying for sustenance.
Slowly, the night came back to me. It came in waves. First I remembered the first stuff, and later I remembered the later stuff. Not trying to be a shitty story teller, but there’s a point and if I don’t get to it, this will become a freakin’ book. I saw the smudged phone number on my wrist and it all came back in a wash. Back in these days, text messages cost like 10 cents apiece or some shit, so I called her…the way people used to do. We set a time and made a plan to meet at that one place…I can’t remember the name, but man, I was stoked. The night was supposed to have been a total bust, but here I was, with a dinner date lined up with a super hot strip club waitress…my hangover was thus more bearable than it should have been.
…I sat on a bench outside the restaurant, certain I knew exactly who I was looking for, with the clear vision of a face and body in mind…so I was shocked at first when the older lady came up to me and knew my name. She was less attractive than I remembered, in every way…but honestly, I’m not one to let that stop me from enjoying someone’s company and getting to know them. I want to emphasize all that was going on there, but at the same time I don’t want to put words out there that might make others feel sad…I don’t think that’s funny or ok. But the thing is, this lady was a complete freakin nasty rude freakin asshole!!! 🤣🤣🤣
We sat and she ate chips and salsa. At this point, I’m thinking, ok, she doesn’t look like I thought she did, but she was really kind and sweet to me last night, and that’s the kind of woman I want to be with, so that’s irrelevant. She’s knocking back the chips, telling me how she makes all this money from the government because she’s 33% Cherokee. I tell her I think that’s great, but actually I think it seems gross, like she’s taking money that should be going to actual native causes or something. She says, if you think that’s great, I’m making more than $4,000 a month of alimony from my three loser ex-husbands! …😮
…Now I just want to leave. I clearly misjudged this woman in every way. The waiter comes up, takes our drink orders. I go for the hair of the dog and she goes for the same. He bring a back two tequila shots, salt and lime and all that extra shit…I usually take it straight, but it’s here and I didn’t specify that I wanted it straight up, so I’m gonna take what I get. Um, what the fuck is this? - I shit you not, this is what she said to this poor dude. “Why is all this shit in my drink?” The waiter looked at me like what the fuck bro? And I looked at him like shit man I have no idea lol…he looked at her and kindly said “oh, yes, I’m sorry, that’s how we serve tequila shots here. I can get you a straight one, I apologize for the trouble.” She looked at him with all the hatred you could muster…”Good. I ain’t no fuckin’ pussy!” I’m freakin mortified at this point. I want the fuck out. The waiter politely confirmed and left to repair the situation, and she immediately turned to me with this clueless fuckin smile, tilting her had and acting like she’s cute or something, as if I didn’t just witness her practically castrate this young dude half her age.
I don’t remember much more from the date. It wasn’t eventful from there out. I was a soldier. I know how to duck my head down and get out quietly, and I know how to explode and get out violently…this was a time for the former, so I ate fast and prayed for it to end.
I paid for the dinner, left a generous tip and an “I’m sorry I swear I don’t know this chick!” on the receipt. As we passed through the doors and out into the night air, I felt freedom in the breeze - I could not get away from this chick fast enough. She offered me a ride to my car. I politely declined. She insisted because it was nasty out. I declined politely again, told her I like walking in shit weather. That was true, but more so tonight than maybe ever before. “We should get together sometime, I had a lot of fun!” I was stunned to hear her say that. How could she not know this was a complete disaster? Hahaha! Fuck it man, I thought, I’m out of here! I think I may have even ran to my car, but I can’t say for sure…time and tequila have corrupted the necessary reference files.