My master once told me the peak of the mountain once reached in your lifes journey to attain a black belt is just the start to another mountain behind it. Life is a lesson. Having achieved the peak of my initial journey I have found the next peak is not unattainable. I have to say the focus is no longer laser eyed. I have started to just enjoy everything slowly. It looks to some of my friends that I have lost that umph. The timing is off. The force is lacking. The voice in my head is quiet. So quiet in fact that I don't even think my legs under the water are working over time to keep me afloat.
Going back to the professional voice and the persona it projects. I find that when I wear I suit I feel a slight wobble in the universe. My head feels like it tight and I have focused thoughts to what I am undertaking. I do feel nervous when I have to deal with other professionals but once the talking starts I find the focused becomes laser eyed. The blood rises up and I find no cloud inside of me. The term coined by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi "The flow". It takes though, but once I have arrived I am well focused. I find this gap in timing between cloudy and focused because I have not bridged this state of mind when I am just living life.
Normal life and training do not create a state of mind I want to attain. IN fact the cloud is constantly there. Even when I drink and get drunk while at work I can get into the flow state of mind. In normal life I have not discerned falling into this focused state. I am repeating this point because I think there is a very big gap that I must close up to be able to attain true self.
Well that's enough for now. Thanks for your time.
