I think I should write something while my inhibitions are let loose especially when I'm sitting here all alone in a bar full of guys that frankly I'm bothered because there are no sights to admire in a place so busy I don't know where to look.
Over stimulated with with the world going past me at I drink my beer to am unknown destination I'm not even sure if I'm heading in the right direction and I'll tell you the truth I'm thinking twice if I should stay and just drink or move to another place that has music.
Something that allows me to think things through cohesively into that single thought moving me into existence and all the while thinking if I'm doing the right thing as I ignore my body screaming to bloody hell, please stop you fool.
I'm not sure if it's the right thing but I know what I know it's all a matter of perspective and I'm not even sure my mind is capable of thinking what it is to be in the right frame of mind to just pay attention to my train of thought.
It's wrong I'm not sure but I'm loving the feeling of being in this transient state of mind when I see people leave I'm thinking are they going to a better place or have I reached somewhere that's wanting to be at in this very moment the thoughts enter my mind.
I'm writing this not for anyone in particular but at the same time I know it's for someone same some body deserving of the random thoughts playing into that kaleidoscope of eternal order only a mad man knows exists into an oblivion of endless possibilities.
Do you ever think it's all for naught only to find out the very mistake you make is the one your supposed to have made and then you're all there just with a thought not a single thought but a jumble of an emotional mess waiting for someone or something to sort out out for you.
I think I am.
But who knows since I'm jumping left right and centre even before I could hold onto that moment and every moment I do it slips away into somewhere I'm not even sure I wanted in the first place to achieve what ever it is I'm trying to achieve.
Well let's just say being lost is great when you're already lost into that box you've stored in a safe place so safe you don't even know where you put it in the first place.
Anyway I'm suggesting into a train of thought I'm frankly afraid is a question I'm not ready to even look at let alone have a half hearted answer that will satisfy the fly in the background of my mess I've created to just give me the reason to being the person I'm meant to not be in this very moment I'm in a state og no thought.
Well I best leave you guys be since I'm listening to Swahili from the Africans sitting next to me giving me a mindless drone in my mind allowing me to get that leave in my head as it tries to work out what the fuck it is they are taking about.
The beauty of ignorance.
Goodbye.