Ignas proposed to me again, Din, what should I say? His voice from the other end of the phone sounded troubled, maybe that was the case. I imagined him biting his lip to suppress the turmoil, making me chuckle.
Just accept it, you've been dating for a long time, what do you want to do? You don't have any 'cohabiting' plans for life, right? My joke.
Crazy, of course not, Dinar! I heard her laughter break. We love each other, he continued
Who knows how many hundred times he convinced me with the last sentence, for what purpose? Also happy if it is true that the man who, according to Sean's story, is Japanese, is serious about having a relationship with him. How come? Sean is an adult woman who should enjoy it with love. Hmm, yes love ...
Our telephone lines were cut off with a small joke. I sighed, then sipped hot coffee in an antique cup. A special cup made by the man, which is so selfish. He left without a message, let alone a promise to return. I'm really disappointed. But, whatever the pain and disappointment he left behind, he would never attend. This friendship was as radiant as spring.
The story of Ignas' application took me on a trip from Malang to the city of batik, Pekalongan. Sean's family moved from Malang after a tragedy almost killed their only daughter. I don't remember much about the move. Happy, that's all I felt along the way.
Conversations on WhatsApp media ran smoothly with Sean Andara Lee, a woman of Chinese descent who didn't have many friends during high school even though her beauty was quite popular at that time. The visualization of the time in gray and white uniform crosses our minds, memories, which we went through together.
But, oh! Somehow my head suddenly hurt so badly when a series of pasts passed, that some things disappeared from memory, nothing left! A pair of feet in white sneakers stomped the driveway at the address Sean had given him, exactly nine o'clock in the evening. Is there anything I can help you with, Ma'am? Middle-aged woman greeted kindly.
Hello, I'm Dinar, Sean's old friend. I shook his hand with a smile. Not long after, he led me into the house to meet his master. Take a break first. Tomorrow, talk to Miss. He handed the room key to my hand and then left. I tried to hold it in.
Wait, iBu. Say something about Sean, why didn't he come to see me in person? Even though he invited me here. You are tired after a long journey, take a break so that tomorrow will be fresh when you meet Miss, excuse me. He left me frozen in amazement and could only stare at his back away.
Don't let the naughty mosquitoes suck your blood! What do you think a poor child is looking for in a wealthy family? No more money, Ignas. . . money! Look, how low he is! The appearance of the woman was speechless. Alone!
I was startled, my forehead wrinkled, I swallowed hard. Something dark caught the mind, I don't know. The passage of time drags into a time like I've heard that saying, when? I don't know! I made sure he was Sean, yes a friend from high school. Oh, what happened to you, Sean?
Accidentally my eyes fell on a photo with a wooden frame. Instantly my chest hurts so much! Until I have to suppress it in order to endure the sudden surge of feelings.
That face was so familiar, he was the man who was always present in my dreams, the man who made me a cup of coffee, who left me for no reason! The slides of memory from school days come and go in the head.
Me, Sean and the man embraced still wearing uniforms. Karaoke on foot in the car. Camping. Bonfire. The man plays the guitar. Night. Something hissed right beside me! Snake! Peck spontaneously without my chance to escape.
The man drew blood from the snake bite wound on my arm. Tying his scarf, in order to prevent the remaining snake venom from spreading in the body. Oh ... my head hurts so badly! The shadow flashed again. The man put his arm around my shoulder. Kiss my forehead. It smells warm. Sean's angry face. A big slap on my face!
The man's mouth quarrel with Sean. The three of us fight. This head feels like it's about to explode! Throbbing. Pain ... Blood splattered on the asphalt. Bodies. Ambulance. Highway. Crowd. Bus overturned. My head is bleeding. I'm looking for someone ... Sean is down. The man lay covered in blood ... Is he alive? Is he still alive?
Nooooo! I screamed unable to accept the wave of past events that were so terrifying! My body lost strength, joints weakened by themselves, fell apart, sat down unconsciously. I hold tight my head which hurts, hurts!
You! The woman turned to me in shock, apparently my scream startled her. He approached me with graceful steps resembling a ghost, Darling ... Dinar, did you find me? I thought you were coming home. She said in a strangely suppressed voice, like a puppet, then chuckled.
I was stunned, raging feelings squeezed my heart ... Sean ... what happened? What is hidden from our past? Why is this, Sean? What's the matter ?!
Oh, hold on a second, will you. He left me, less than five minutes later he came with a mannequin the size of a grown man. My eyes stare at the mannequin he brought before me. That face ...
The mannequin with the face of a pottery-loving man I know! The man in the photo, the same man in my memories and dreams! The one whose face is sticky but the name I can't remember. Honey, tell him, we forgive him. He came to bless our engagement, Sean said passionately to the doll! 'Dear?' Painful ... I could not stop my sobs. God...
How can you forget what happened, Dinar? His head tilted with a mysterious expression, an instant later his expression turned cynical. You evil! He blasphemes. You're not my best friend! You demoness! He started crazy Say it all, so that I remember what happened ...
I gave it all to you, everything ... even I gave in every school Olympics, to get you going. But no, not my feelings, Dinar, no! His hands aggressively gripped my jaw, forced into his eyes. Fierce. I found anger there, as well as deep resentment, a hint of loneliness glistening faintly, if I'm not mistaken.
Plakk! Plakk! A hard slap hit my cheek twice! Hot. What's my fault, you? What have I done? What does that have to do with that guy? My teeth, it hurts. He gave me a strange look, then grinned. You're not pretending, are you? How could you forget when you were the cause of everything that happened ?!
Has God punished you by pulling out your memories ?! Hahaha, it's no wonder you look stupid! You did not even tremble at all, when I mentioned the name Ignas who loved me, but you managed to take it! Oh ... my head hurts ... it hurts to hear it, am I that bad?
I have forgiven you, Ignas too ... Her voice was pressed again like a living doll. If so, then where is Ignas now? Ignas what you mean is definitely not the doll! He came closer, stroking my cheek which was still hot by his slap. I shuddered secretly in horror, Lord, help me ...
He's in this room, we make love all the time, we love each other ... of course, we love each other ... He chuckles. My romantic feathers bristled ... I observed the classic white-dominated room. There are many photos of a man named Ignas. Photo from the time wearing a gray and white uniform. Why aren't there any photos of him after that time? Where exactly is that guy? He kept incarnating in my dreams. Oh!
You're the cause! Ruined all our plans! Plakk-plakk slapped my face again, he satisfied his grudge. This time I didn't stay still, I grabbed her hair and brushed her body. He scratched my cheek until it was torn bleeding! I slapped him back because I didn't have long nails to scratch back.
Hit each other, grab each other, hit each other. In the duel, I endured the pain in my head that felt like it was about to explode with the memory of memory after memory. quarrel at Mount Semeru, Sean and I didn't greet each other. Meanwhile Ignas continued to hold my fingers on the way home on the tour bus. I don't know how long the journey takes, until a deadly accident changes everything ... The bus hits the road divider, the fateful day that claimed many lives.
Get up, Sean! Be aware! Ignas never existed! You've been hallucinating all this time! Wake up from a long dream, Sean! He left us long ago! Why don't you accept reality ?! I shouted while continuing to stomp his body. A line of words which I should also deserve.
You're the one who took it! You devil! He kept attacking me. The duel continued, without me knowing what to win. Until the legs of three adults, flashed through the heat of our physical contact. Two men, along with the middle-aged maid. Stop it, you guys! I sat limp, with all the pain ... pain stoned the mind.
The trip to the city was even more tiring. My memory returned but left a new hole that was impossible for me to patch. Memories cannot be repeated or repaired. Sean and I ... Losing is torture.
After losing his mother while still in elementary school, my father married Aunt Rea, the mother's younger brother. How cruel, lately I know they were in love since mother was around, I do not believe in love and loyalty.
Even a sacred bond under the name of the Lord, does not make a person willingly faithful.
To Ignas, the debris of the belief in the love entity began to build, I fell in love. No matter how much I refuse, love touches my most private space, my heart. But someone also puts hope in the heart I want to care for. Sean is falling in love for the first time, his soul is shaken when he finds out, Ignas is dating you. When he woke up from a coma, after that incident he lost almost all of his world.
He creates a maze with the real world and chooses to live in his own world. You are the special guest, your meeting must have had a big effect. Sorry, it turns out that you also lost a lot ... The narrative of Sean's mother when taking me to the train station was getting stifling ...
I'm sorry, Sean ... I don't even remember how much I loved Ignas that day, because all I felt was silence ... Excuse me, can I sit here? A man's voice interrupted the reverie. I turned a friendly smile and widened, but it made me want to die right now! That figure ... is it real? Ig ... Ignas ... I muttered unconsciously ...
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