I’ve always loved walking around barefoot. Or I used to love it, at least. I loved the sensation of the ground touching my feet; I used to feel a bit more free.
I didn’t care if the floor was dirty, I didn’t care if it was grass, sand, mud, or whatever. I even went out barefoot to buy groceries once or twice, because I forgot my shoes. There was this time when I didn’t wear shoes for months; I only wore them on Sundays, and I felt sick after a couple of hours.
But then, I decided someone was worthy enough for me to wear shoes. I didn’t care. Person didn’t like dirty feet; Person wouldn’t let me in their bed if my feet were dirty; Person would get anxious if my feet touched the floor. I couldn’t walk barefoot in Person’s house.
You have to understand, I wouldn’t wear shoes for just anyone. It’s just shoes, I realized, and this is Person, and Person was worth everything.
At first it was difficult. I would forget the shoes all the time. But eventually, I kind of got it. I still forgot to wear them once in a while. Person’s feet were always impossibly clean, and mine were always kind of dirty; and I could swear my feet never touched the floor. How did Person do it?
But Person had a lot of mysterious things like that.
Every time I was back home, I went back to walking barefoot and having dirty feet again.
Eventually I got used to the shoes without even realizing it. I don’t know how it happened, but one day I discovered myself being disgusted by the thought of my feet touching the ground; I didn’t pay much attention to it. Still, it was a pain in the ass to put them on and off so much, and I stopped wearing my favorite boots because it took too much time to put them on.
Now Person is away. I don’t have Person’s eyes to give me a weird look every time my feet touch the floor (I miss them.) But just yesterday I washed my feet like a million times, until I realized it was unpractical and a waste of my time, so I wore my shoes again.
I don’t care.
I don’t care that I can’t seem to be comfortable anymore when barefoot. I don’t care that now I prefer clean feet and shoes. Person was worth it.
Person is still worth the shoes; the wait.
We all love our comfort zone. And trust me, I don’t go out of it just like that. Not even for myself. It takes one seriously amazing Person to get me out of it. And I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone in many ways now (always wearing shoes.) And although it has been thanks to Person, obviously I have all the credit, I made those decisions, I was brave enough to walk out of my zone; I decided it was worth it.
Some Persons are worth the shoes. And some Persons will require you to take your shoes off. I know many people now think it’s wrong to “change” for other people. I don’t see it like that. We are always changing, adapting, evolving. You are not giving yourself up. Don’t let your sense of self be so delicate that you feel threatened by stupid stuff. You are not the shoes you wear or don’t wear.
Evolving next to someone who is worth it is awesome. It’s not easy. Sometimes it’s painful; sometimes it’s difficult to find common ground, sometimes it’s almost impossible to meet them in the middle; most times it’s a challenge. But oh, the adventures you are off to get if you just dare to try. All those lessons you are going to learn if you open your mind. All the new songs, all the new places, all the new people…
All those new worlds you are going to walk next to them… And you only have to wear shoes. (Maybe just shoes.)
