Extended family relationship is something so complex at times especially when the foundation or origin isn't from a nuclear but polygamous family. In this part of the world as an African and most especially as a Nigerian, it is sometimes hard to keep a genuine relationship with extended family but that does not mean there are none which works out perfectly fine.
For me growing up, I learned how my parents tried so much in ensuring the connection between their children and children of their siblings as well. I can remember very well how my parents would send us over to our uncle or aunts places to spend our holiday especially the third term which do last for almost a month. We would go to nearby aunts or uncles for the holidays that are just 2 weeks and for every Christmas and new year celebration, we spend them in our hometown where every cousins, nephews, niece, uncles and aunties are available to meet, see, create memories of fights and fun.
All these were done to create a cordial relationship among us all and so that we can have a healthy relationship with one another either but I think we all have our choices and parents choices at times may be different from what the children want.
It was a path I threaded for many years trying to maintain the bond I grew up learning to build even when I know the energy is not matching. I could often see the push from my parents side on myself and siblings mostly and sometimes I wonder why they both carry it on their heads so important and choose to ignore if the same energy is shown to them or not. Until a particular incident occurred and I made my decision, the one that is quite different from how my parents wanted it. I guess the best idea that could work from me with my extended family is afar relationship that has to do with normal check-up calls and texts.
Do I have a good relationship with my uncles and aunties? Yes but not that of a close relationship that would make me go to their houses like when I used to or call several times in a month. They are all lovely people and infact I've had a cousin whom we speak every 12am till 4am everyday as at the time a network provider provides free midnight calls for users but I just guess what works for A doesn't work for B and when that is realized, offenses will not be taken anymore if you are not getting same investment of bonding and you're just the one who insist on forcing what's not supposed to be.
We talk but not like before. We bond but not like it was in the past and probably life also has a take in the whole turnout of things as everyone is mostly concerned with their lives and children so you can't possibly blame the gap on anyone or it may be just the excuse to ignore the bridge in communication.
The main family I want to ensure extends well and maintain is that of my siblings. The strong bond between us will make our children take us more than uncles and aunties but like their parents as well and we will also see them all as our children. For every strong bond among children or with their uncles and aunts, you can always trace it back to the bond between the parents who are the siblings so that is definitely my vision and the foundation is laid already. This does not mean they won't know other uncles and aunties but it won't just be like how I was sent over to uncles places for holidays.
I'll be dropping my 🖊️ here on the Hive Learners community prompt
Thanks for reading through 🤗
All images are Mine
