Forgiving existence as myself

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge existence, to judge the creator of existence, and to be spiteful towards existence and all creators of existence because of what existence has been created as that life has been subjected to

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed an existence of enslavement - to have allowed myself and existence to be enslaved, through my own acceptances and allowances, wittingly or unwittingly, in awareness or in ignorance
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be angry with existence for having been born and subjected to a life of pain, brutality and harshness that I do not even understand and have no memory of how it came to be or how I got here and why I am experiencing it

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to hate and judge life because of how difficult I observed it to be for myself and all others around me

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be angry with existence because my earliest memories are that of pain, fear, enslavement and helplessness

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be angry for being born

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be angry towards myself and existence for being into a world of catastrophe without any understanding or solution in sight

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be angry towards all beings in my environment for having been led astray and given no real support or love

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be angry at my family and existent for being born into an existence where family and those who I depended on most abused and sullied all trust

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be angry towards all of existence and myself as existence for creating a reality of war, and finding myself in a reality where there is only war

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be angry because of how brutal existence has become in it’s nature

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be angry at what we have done with existence and life and how it has been enslaved

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be angry to find myself in an existence of vast suffering and that we have created an existence of vast suffering and not understanding why

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be angry for being born with no language, memory, tools or guidance as to how to live and exist in this physical reality

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be angry at everyone that I have come across in my environment for betraying me and angry at myself for also betraying myself and existence/life

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to lose all faith in all of existence and become spiteful towards existence

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be angry towards God (Anu) and blame God for this existence/creation I find myself in

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be angry for existence for the existence of pain and enslavement and having to see all of existence suffer

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to spite myself and be angry towards myself because of the awareness that I am created in the image and likeness of this abusive and spiteful existence

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be angry towards existence for being born vulnerable and weak and having that vulnerability and innocence abused

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to give up on existence, spite existence, and essentially say and live the statement ‘fuck everything’ and ‘what is the point?’

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed to be and exist as a fraud, deceiving myself and everyone else in my reality as I had been deceived, and for accepting and allowing myself to believe that this is what life is and must be

I commit myself to stand, walk, live and apply myself as the solution, as the creator, as the source, every day, for as long as is necessary until I am satisfied that existence has been corrected and redefined to allow life to exist and thrive

I commit myself to work towards creating a world where all life can live in harmony and support, without the existence of fear

I commit myself to be the solution that I want to see in the world

I commit myself to stand as the love and support and understanding that I never received but always wanted

I commit myself to be the solution as I see, realized understand that if I find no solution/nothing real in existence, then I must stand as that point

I commit myself to be and live the point of responsibility that I would like to see others and my reality be and live

I commit myself to let go of all trappings of ego and self interest so that I may give to existence and give to myself a life worth living