This is a self-process update blog - where have I been the last 7 years?
7 Years ago I visited the Desteni farm for what would later turn out to be a life changing experience. At the time I did not quite know fully what I was getting myself into when I went to visit the farm in South Africa to meet Bernard, Sunette, and all of the other wonderful people living there who I was fortunate to share time with.
I was in a way scared at what I would find, maybe because since I had found Desteni and started learning what was really going on in existence - I was quite disgusted with myself - I mean I was disgusted with this whole world, but I saw that I was the one who is responsible for my own part in creating the atrocity that we have come to call “life” as these systems of enslavement that we find ourselves trapped in. “I’ve trapped you” as Bernard said to me with a child-like snickering grin - and I’m grateful that he did.
During my time on the farm I had participated in a series of daily interviews with my structural resonance. I was also somewhat intimidated at what I would find here, but of course the discussions were supportive and revealing, again to an extent which I am only realizing more with time and experience as my life design unfolds.
What was explained to me in a nutshell is that I have an elite mind design in this world - my entire life I had designed my mind in such a way (without awareness that I was doing so) that I would become one of the elite in this world, standing dominantly among my fellow man.
This was very difficult to hear at the time, for the fact that I was unaware of the extent of this, and at the particular time in my life, I certainly did not feel like an elite in this world! In Fact at the time I was working as an English teacher in Asia being paid about $800 Canadian dollars a month…not the kind of thing any “elitist” in their “right mind” would do! Life as I knew it had been a directionless and confused struggle. One thing that was brought to my attention was that I was getting impatient that my plan wasn’t coming together quickly enough which was also causing frustration and confusion.
It was explained to me that my process would ‘take longer’ as an elitist mind as I had effectively cut myself from being able to feel my own feelings and emotions - I couldn’t “afford to” lol, so I had become quite a cold, hard, stone like person within myself - not necessarily the kind of guy I would like to be!! It was emphasized that I truly allow myself to feel, and this has been no easy thing as I did over the years continue to suppress, my mind really fought hard to hold onto an existence that has never served me actually.
The following seven years was an extremely tumultuous time for myself, but I really have experienced and learned a lot about myself and the world, I have come to better understand the mistakes that the elite have made in this world and how we have deceived ourselves from truly living our potential in being able to share our gifts with the world and humanity. I did many things during this time, which did not always feel like I was “going anywhere in my life” because again, the elitist plan still hadn’t quite come to fruition yet!
During this time I did a University degree, successfully worked as a performing musician and music teacher, had several brutal injuries that showed me the danger of my own mind and simply not being HERE in physical presence but instead lost in erroneous anxious thought, I traveled, I explored multiple relationships extensively and come to understand much about human relationships and who I am within them, I became an entrepreneur in a big ticket direct sales business, I got involved in understanding and challenging the modern education system, and I learned much about the world system through subjecting myself to it. I also most recently experienced the death of my father which was a surprisingly incredibly difficult experience which served as a big ‘piece of the puzzle’ in terms of assisting me in understanding my own life and position/placement in this world. I also smoked a shit ton of weed during a lot of this time because I truly resisted this process every step of the way (just as Bernard explained to me that he did in how own process). There have been times where I felt so mired in my own mental enslavement and lostness that I would feel that I would never ‘find my way’, that I was forever damned to live and exist as a mind system and never actually live life for real, that I would never truly live the full potential and serve others in this world as I have so much wanted to and idealized.
Yet I am still here.
The seed was planted with Desteni, and the Desteni group has ALWAYS been here throughout my journey UNCONDITIONALLY STANDING IN SUPPORT FOR ALL when all are ready to support themselves and get real about living their one life here on planet earth.
And finally, my plan to become an elite in this world has come to fruition, but I have been through so much and learned so much that I now actually feel ready to take on such a great responsibility, and now it is time to GIVE, to give back to all including myself that LIFE that we all embody and have the potential to fully realize.
So many of the things that Bernard said to me I will never forget - every line of words from that man was a complete life lesson, and one of the last things that he said to me before he died was:
“It is a great responsibility to help another human being, for that you should be a millionaire - first make a million, then Help a million people.”
This is my Desteni.
