Image of Myself
Ever since I knew right from wrong, I became a shadow of myself. I don't dare talk to people; I can't make a full sentence when I get to talk with anyone.
Afraid of People Better Than Me
I always have this feeling of inferiority complex; I feel I can't be better than people who are greater or doing better than me. I see them as gods, and I will want to worship the ground on which they walk. I'm scared to speak whenever I'm around them. I do feel everyone is better than me. Nothing I do myself feels or looks good in my eyes, and this has put me behind and denied me a lot of opportunities, and a lot of people have stepped on me, just because I don't see any good things about me.
People tell me I look good and also admire me a lot, but this does not boost my confidence in any way. I still don't believe I'm beautiful; I feel they are just saying it to make me feel good.
I don't know how to overcome this.
Afraid of Having a Relationship
I desire to have a relationship with someone to love, care for, and to build a family with. but I'm just scared of giving someone the chance. I always have these weird thoughts beeping in my head;
Nobody can love me
I'm not good enough for anyone
I'm not smart enough
I'm poor in communication no one wants a partner that can't communicate well
Can I handle it? What if I frustrate him, and become a nuisance?
All these above thoughts kill me within, even when I get to see who I like. I'm too scared to accept him, and I don't get to express myself.
In summary, I'm scared of the unknown, and this has taken the best of me. I believe I will overcome this someday.
This is my contribution to weekend experience #157
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