"The world thinks I am weak to have spoken out. People who have barely felt half of the pain I have said all sort of things I should not have heard." Kara - (Yabaleftonline).
It all started when I met Segun 20 years back at a friend's party. Then Facebook did it after we lost touch for days, I saw him under the list of friends you may know and that's how the whole story began.
Prior to this time, I had my own ups and downs when it came to being in a relationship, my fragile heart was always played every single time. The pain of former heart breaks, betrayal and sleepless nights caused me to promise myself I'd never love again.
But with Segun it was different, he was the perfect yoruba demon, tall, dark skinned, hairy and constantly checking off everything on my supposed husband material list.
But there again, my fragile heart fell for every single lied he said, the promises he made and the ones he never kept.
It was the beginning of another failed fairy tale. What's worst was that he knew of all my weaknesses, the things that got me scared most and he understood I wore every bit of my heart on my sleeves but he played me anywhere.
All along I had been in a relationship with myself, the signs were there but I made up excuses for them, excuses he told me. Slowly the communications dropped, till there was nothing anymore. I tried my best to keep things together but the efforts were never seen or commended.
The thoughts of friends saying "I told you so but you insisted " broke me the most. They had seen the clear picture but I hadn't. I refused to, because I loved foolishly without holding anything back.
Finding out he had deceived me the whole time broke me in pieces, my years of hard work and sacrifices had gone down the drain.
Funnily enough, I still wanted everything to work out and I pressed on to get the love reciprocated.
He promised he wouldn't break my heart because of our former experiences and so did I, I stuck to mine but he didn't. I went ahead to marry him, the marking of another chapter of pain.
You might say I was stupid to do so but I was in love. A weakness I had no control over but this weakness ruined the rest of my life.
That's why the trends carry " Kara divorces husband after 20years of marriage, says she will never love again."
I've known so much pain to think of walking down that path again. Others have beautiful love lives and stories I envy but not me. Mine has been full of pains, tears, harsh words, Ill treatment and confusion.
You think it's easy to come out when the world says you should endure??
It's my mental health above public opinions.
It was difficult for me, but I had to walk away. I'm not sure of reincarnation but I have decided to live the rest of my life with a healthy mental state.
My advice to every young lover out there is to never make assumptions, have difficult talks with your partners, review your relationship the same way your live is reviewed monthly and lastly, you cannot deal with pain, it breaks you and rids you of every confidence. Whoever you end up with, make sure the person is worth every bit of your life. Remember, never make assumptions, clarity prevents future mistakes.
Kara's story
