Just a blog about my trip to Manila. I wrote this piece by piece for the past few days during my spare time. It's a personal blog to log a memory so if you're looking for content that's supposed to wow you, there's nothing below so don't waste your time reading.
Yep, this was the first thing I took a shot after arriving and it was just for kicks and giggles. A taxi ride had me sight-seeing what I’m missing out. The first thing I’ve noticed was the talk buildings. It’s not that there are no tall buildings from my place, we have those but too few and spaced out to make any visual impact as remarkable as the ones in Manila.
Coming from a place where I don’t have these abundant options to stroll around, I can’t help but think whether people find themselves lucky to live in these places. There’s not much to do back in the rural areas, no night life, everything is quiet, and even the city’s night hub closes right around the time when things are supposed to get exciting. It took only a few hours of sightseeing before I got saturated with the view.
Nice looking buildings eventually lost their magic. I wanted to see more Manila, like go to the slums, get robbed, bargain shopping at Divisoria, or get stuck in traffic like these were the must have standard experience Manila starter pack but my venue was confined to BGC, one of the business hubs in the country. I saw the PSE building and immediately considered getting a selfie of me in front, it’s a rare want as I don’t like selfies but this was the PSE building, this is where stories of the market is made in the country. I didn’t get that selfie.
I also pestered the taxi driver saying something along the lines of "Wow buildings so tall wala yan sa probinsya" "Wow merong fly over! bro can you see that building? it's so tall sobra laki!" Now I intentionally just role played the country bumpkin entering the big character which gave some of my co-workers some small laughs. Not like I'll ever see the taxi driver again but I crossed it off on my to-do list. "How did you know I was from the Visayas? is it because of the way I dress?" I spoke in hard Ilonggo accent as conspicuous as possible which made the driver burst into laughter.
The photos here are just some random shots. There's no artistic photography angle in mind, just plain random shots because just cause I can.
Proof of stay:
I thought of meeting up with 
I thought of leaving some books for Cthings since she lived nearby but forgot to ask for a separate receipt. My luggage had a lot of space consumed by books. I left the books with the receipt at customer service center with instructions and my contact details. I used an pseudonym. I didn’t know C’s full name so I just went along with Cthings and Cloie? Pardon the spelling. The customer service rep pieced together that it was what C for Cthings meant and I initially took it as maybe she comes here often that the staff already knows her? I left the store and rushed back into the conference room with less than 3 minutes left for coffee break.
It was at this time when I sent C a message over discord about the books. She didn’t believe it and thought it was a prank. It was an understandable reaction and I’d probably reacted the same. But then I would be mad if someone pulled a prank that made me travel, break schedule, and ultimately waste my time. So no, I’d definitely don’t want to waste anyone’s time and specifically asked customer service if they could hold onto the book for another day. Putting myself on other people’s shoes, they probably had Sunday plans and I’m just telling it on short notice.
I wanted to leave some physical proof to be witnessed by someone that I had my stay in Manila and not just making things up. And I also wanted to give a HivePH member a late Christmas gift for an activity last December I hosted but never participated in the exchange. C just happens to the closest member within the area and books were a common interest.
The Meetup
I initially didn’t plan to showing up, there were layers of preplanned excuses set to rationally avoid meeting anyone. I was typing a report for presentation, would accompany a friend to shop because they wanted to make the most out of the trip, and other paper works that had been in queue. I had hoped Arc would not show up on a dare that if she relinquishes being anon for me, so would I do the same. We both love our privacy and it was a good condition until she said yes so damn. Now I can’t back out on my word. Reluctant to go meet C and Arc, both were using their precious time for this and this was the most important factor that I had to follow through.
A thing to note is that my outgoing services for my phone were blocked due to someone forgetting to pay the bill for me. Also note that I’m not at fault here since I paid in advance and they just forgot the obligation and this happened at the worst possible time. So if it weren’t for discord and a hotel’s wifi, meeting the two would never have been possible.
By Arc’s comment on my lack of motion to handshake when we met on first impression, I recall my hands touching a wet bench (there was a slight drizzle prior) and mixed with sweat from walking back and forth. I’m sure I thought of shaking hands but just waved it off than offer a wet hand.
It was the most awkward hello I said in a while when I met the two. And depending on their reaction was an algorithm being played on how to react next. By default, I had already assumed the worst events coming down like dashing out of the scene and etc. I’ve heard of several horrible meetups from second hand experience where people meet for the first time online and things just went downhill under the first sight.
Before I approached them, I checked whether there were any bodyguards trailing because C may be a lowkey high profile persona. My eyes were still darting here and there when I said my first hello baka nga meron tapos biglang mag sasabi "huleeee"
Arc
I dedicate this section for the girl with the ice pick. She’s not far from the mental image I’ve conjured up on our regular banters. Talking to Arc felt like she was the sister I never had with the regular sibling arguments in tow. She’s reliable, thoughtful, and frank with some reservations. Arc was really a gentleman when C needed cover for the rain and there was no hesitation offering her jacket to the lady. If I had an umbrella, sana payongan rin ako ni Arc. Muntik na mawala yung image na gusto niya ako hampasin gamit yung librong binigay ko sa kanya.
C
Quiet. That’s how I predominantly remember most of the interactions but I can tell she’s a good listener from the non-verbal cues. I think what left the most impression on me was the level of eye contact used when it mattered the most. I thought it was considerate of her to not mention she hadn’t eaten any dinner prior. I’m going in tangent here but when I met them around 8pm, I had already assumed they had dinner because eating at 6-7pm was kind of a norm where I’m from but I’m forgetting that I am fish out of water in that scenario so I insensitively didn’t ask the basic “kumain na ba kayo?” opening. Arc brought up the subject and shit did I feel bad not doing the line.
Thoughtful talaga ni Arc dito, the best.
I bluntly said, not the exact words, that I don’t mind the venue since talking to the two was more important. At the back of my head, as the seconds ticked away, I was already taking more and more risk not meeting some deadlines due the next day. But I shut off those thoughts as soon as they popped because I labored for months and this break in routine was refreshing. I was in one of the most interesting events and it’s been months since I recall I ever did anything out of the ordinary outside work. I probably didn’t sound convincing or the bluntness of what I said didn’t have an impact. Not that I expect the two to understand. To me, I was talking to the two most interesting people in the coffee shop and they probably didn’t see it that way.
We talked about random things from light to heavy topics, using up whatever random conversation starter decks, and make bardagulan. It had been that way until the shop signaled its closing time. Now I thought BGC had several shops that were open a little longer that didn’t serve liquor. I don’t really want alcohol in the equation if there were other alternatives. It was a quest to find another establishment that was conducive for more conversations. I would have been more decisive if I knew the place better but I was fish out of water in that situation so relying on C’s knowledge of the area was as necessity.
I didn’t have high hopes we’d find another place seeing how the stores started closing down but walking helped me get more sight-seeing experience. I had three concerns during the walk, how to keep the conversation going, the rain, and fatigue. It doesn’t bother me if I had to walk miles on any day. I do walk a few kilometers on a daily basis from work to home. But I doubt my companions would be up for the walkathon especially in the rain. I’m so glad I forgot to bring my umbrella or else it might get wet on the rain.We went to a food court, found the place too noisy for talks then settled back a few blocks back from where we started back to zero and no clue where to go. I really wanted to go out of the area because there were more options out there but then fuck my network’s outgoing services. Had I got that service on me, I wouldn’t mind having more freedom to move.
We just happen to end up at another coffee shop (Starbucks) with more or less another hour left to spare before closing time. Prior to this, I asked whether they want to stay up late or I could just accompany them near a place where they could get home safe. I’m not interested in knowing their place, just the idea I can sleep better they went home safe. I left the two thinking:
Ok, since si Arc yung last na kasama ni C, at least hindi ako magiging suspect pag may nangyari. Sorry Arc, you best girl parin. Lumingon parin ako at tiningnan mga corners baka merong mga bodyguard nga si C sa paligid.
I didn’t mind staying longer even with work piled up, I was just making the most of the time I’m not sure when I’ll get the chance again. What was new is being the first to go instead of the last, normally I'd end up being one of the last to remain until everyone goes home in the group and ask to be notified when they do arrive. But the two weren't planning to head home early and the night was just starting so I just left it as it is considering I wasn't in the province. I guess I underestimated the place's safety and maybe the concern was unfounded. Not that I find it a necessity to make a big fuzz at that time.
What I like about the rain is how much it has been a witness to most significant events in my life. I could never recall an important occasion for me where it didn’t rain. Perhaps it’s just a coincidence that whenever the happiest or saddest moments do happen, it just rains on me. It’s my first time in the place, learning new things and with the people I have never imagined being with until some years down the road but it was all happening at once.
If I had any regrets about the meet up, it was thinking I could’ve done more on my part. Perhaps things would have been different if I had the energy to sustain what an ideal conversationalist would be instead of taking in the moments during dead air. It was a long time since I exhausted my social batteries.
Coming Back to Work
I didn’t talk a lot about work which was the objective of why I went to Manila in the first place. There was nothing remarkable or fun about sitting two days on a seminar looking at educational materials I barely have time to study about. I’ve been working for a few years in a soul crushing job that pays well but the level of freedom with my time gets capped. I’ve been in the same place before but had more room to say I quit. I worked multiple jobs in the past, 5 jobs consisting of 1 full time and 4 other side gigs that took me way back in medschool. Dropping the one that pays high but was draining my creativity felt great but that also meant having my back against the wall with looming expenses.
It’s times where I’m in my financial woes does my vision for financial freedom becomes clear. I was in debt but I was happier than when I kept a job that pays well but kills my artistic soul daily. Being a doctor pays well but it’s not exactly the type of life I envisioned for myself, it’s more of a compromise but I can’t really blame the set of cards I’ve been dealt with. I know there are people who wish they had what I had. The Manila experience made me reevaluate my long term goals.
A Taste of Financial Freedom
Since I went with my co-workers to do their shopping spree, I was able to exercise restraint and general indifference towards the material allure. Years back, I would have spent more on things I thought I need but only want with the amount of cash I’m carrying but everything just felt frivolous spending. I walked out of the mall without spending anything even if everything I fancied was within affordable limits.
I think one of the signs of being financial free is not having to be bothered with the price tag whenever you see something you want to buy. You buy because you want it and not because the price influenced you whether you can afford to want it or not. There I was on a trip, spending on establishments with peers used to the upper middle class lifestyle and I just couldn’t relate. I was conscious about spending more than 3x to 5x the usual daily expense but it didn’t bother me. I can afford it and it’s not like I am spending because I’m addicted or want to keep an appearance, it’s just the norm with the people I’m with.
Had I been with people who are frugal and just prefer the cheaper alternatives, I would just blend in fine. I entered Starbucks and bought coffee more than thrice a day, and this was a shop I’d only go on seldom occasions in a year because it’s not in my system. Normal days, this habit would have bothered me because I’d go into less popular cafes instead.
Prior to the trip with airport security, I had an embarrassing moment with the x-ray machine.
The guard scanned my bag and if had several wad of cash (each wad was along 10k pesos) on different places, in my head I was only bringing in around 60k as pocket money but I had this habit of shoving in 10k at random places in my bags converting it into a wallet. Let’s just say the amount was enough to trigger something suspicious but not enough to warrant a drama. I forgot how much money I stacked on random areas in my bag. It was awkward to explain how did I stack up that amount but I was just fortunate enough that being a doctor was a plausible reason.
Even when I carried that much on me, I felt I’m still fish out of water after seeing the folks walking around BGC being fashionable. Am like, holy shit? Should I even be here? Allowed here? I compared my own getup and felt I out of place for being- well poor isn’t the right word but something along those lines. At the very least, not fashionable enough to blend in? Sometimes I just wonder whether my choices to have minimal wants and laid back lifestyle was a mistake.
I took a step back for all the spending I did, places I paid for, and stuff I bought. None of them made me feel a pang of regret. I paid for the experience surrounding those activities which yielded me more value for my time which was what money was for anyway. Not thinking about the price tag, not thinking whether I can afford to buy stuff for others, not thinking I should limit myself not to go because it’s going to set me back on my other financial obligations, that is what felt great. I was able to sleep better because I think I achieved some vision of what the type of financial freedom experience I am aiming for. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still modest, frugal, and would prefer function over fashion any day but that realization was something I don’t want to forget.
The mental benchmark, if you came from a place surrounded by less amenities and lived there for a long time, you get used to it. That any form of convenience, even just by a few ticks is great. But if you came from a place where a lot of luxuries and conveniences are provided, moving to a place where there is less may feel like a downgrade and punishment for the lifestyle you’re used to. I was able to appreciate the contrast because of my upbringing being not so fortunate to doing fine and then getting exposed to expensive things.
Many people lived not getting any chance at life to better their living conditions. Recalling the expression of the woman that held her 1st 1000 peso bill and thinking it was the most amount of money she ever held in her life. Or some families feeling like they are the wealthiest bunch in town for just receiving a few cans of food. These were families living on far flung areas where progress has left them while the cities progressed. My benchmark was low and when I get to have experiences that set the bar higher, the internal control also shifts. But I still find myself fortunate to appreciate these experiences because I was given a choice I can afford where most can’t. They can’t because they don’t know or don’t have the financial resources to change their life’s circumstances.
I’m not going to be aiming for saving the world and shit like that but I’m definitely going to do something about trying to better the living conditions of the people that remain left out, the unheard, and the underprivileged. But there’s a lot of stuff to cover before I can accomplish those. For now, this trip showed me to dream bigger than what I can only dream for myself. I’m not capable yet but now my roadmap is taking shape.
The Ending
Less than 2 hours since I arrived from the airport, I was greeted by a stack of papers and deadlines I need to meet for those 3 days lost. It’s a surreal experience that I was chilling in Manila and in less than an hour flight brought me back to a familiar place and the stress involved. I didn’t make a lot of progress with the work piled up while I was in Manila because everyone was in the mood to relax. From a work, cost-effective and pragmatic standpoint, there was no real reason I was supposed to be there other than to be someone’s companion because they didn’t want to travel alone.
There were too many disadvantages for me because I’ll be losing effective time to do something else. But I wouldn’t really say I regret making the trip. Etched in my head are the memories of meeting the two that night. The conversation and time spent with them are something I’d consider a highlight of the trip. I could just come back to the place and see the sights but it’s not the same as asking for people’s time.
I really enjoyed Arc and C’s company despite the unexpected adventures of how things turned out. My only regret was closing off the doors to entertain ideas of meeting people from HivePH while on Manila early. Had I visualized it prior that things can turn out the way they ended up, I’d have done more research and field survey before the meeting even happened.
You may have noticed a recurring theme about being stringy with time here. It’s a long winded approach but the short version is, time is a free resource that majority take for granted. I pick the activities I spend time with, I pick the people I want to be with, and shut off activities/people I don’t want to spend time with.
So if I chose to spend my time with someone/something, it means I have sacrificed some of the potential time I could have spent doing something else productive. This zero sum game is a major factor in my decision making. I don’t see myself as someone above everyone else’s level that my time is all that. I just see the habit as filtering out activities that don’t bring me value for my time.
The trip was enough to give me a life changing perspective on the things I’m missing out and the things I need to reevaluate. It broadened my view about the world relative to the established perception which isn’t something you can just figure out from media but something you have to see for yourself.
If you made it this far reading, thank you for your time.
This is the bottom of the post.
Arc.