Understanding and empathy, not sympathy. We can get frustrated at people for making bad decisions but we have that luxury to know and do what is right because we're in the right state of mind, others don't and when you stop seeing yourself up in a pedestal and get to their level of seeing things, you may end up getting that connection for a better therapeutic alliance. Sometimes they already know the answer, they just need the validation and encouragement which can be quite draining over the long term.