Personal pressure I believe comes with more force than the external pressure. When someone begin to pressurize himself to achieve something in life, for me it has more negative influence in that person because it is possible for that person to die out of that pressure and people won't know about it until that person is gone.
Somehow I kind of set a goal for myself which was a little bit difficult for me to achieve. This has made me feel very bad each time I remember that I have not been able to achieve a set goal. I don't think that it is possible for a human that is still alive not to set a goal. Or for one not to pressured sometimes. It might not even be a set goal like that, but some bills not attended to may be responsible for one's pressure in life.
Having children in school and not been able to pay all their bills is one thing that puts me under pressure most times, I believe some parents do experience such. If it were just myself and my husband I don't think that I will come under pressure because the little that I have would be enough for me or us as the case maybe. But having kids at home or in school always in need of something you might not have. Even when you provide anyone, another surfaces which was never planned for. Take example of sickness. We don't see it coming so that we can direct it to come when there is money to attend to it. It just thinks of coming and start coming almost immediately. At that point when we don't have money or the resources needed to tackle that problem it causes too much pressure for me. I can also say that this is personal. Some people may not worry while someone like myself will always worry when things like this show up.
Last year I had a goal I thought to achieve, but sadly it didn't go my way and to an extent I was under serious pressure. We started a building project four years ago and at the beginning of every year since we started the building I will always have high hopes wishing that there will be enough resources to complete the house and Park in immediately. Hahaha 馃槀馃槀. We always do the planning in our heads, and it doesn't work out the way we plan it. When we got into last year I said to myself this is the year for me. But I didn't understand how it will work out or what the year holds for us. I just made my plans and that's it.
Towards the end of the year I started feeling as if I have failed for not attending to my goals for the year. I was really under pressure at that moment to get money from any source and just complete the house, then later we can pay. The funniest part of it is that I had high hopes also on hive, thinking that when we get to bull run I will make money from hive and do what I have planned to do. Hmmm! Nothing happened and I was not happy.
Finally I discovered that God's plan is more solid than that of man. If I had gone to get loan to complete my house, probably I would have sold that house to settle the loan. We need to be patient in life and allow God to help us when we need help. I have allowed God to do it his own way and I am not pressured anymore. I know that it will happen one day. Though I don't know the day or hour. Sooner or later it will happen.
This is my response for week 210, episode 3
