I’m curious. Why atheism? Who says God is what is laid before us, or that we even understand the concept, but why denounce the idea of a creator? I’m not giving you a hard time. Just genuinely curious about your perspective. I’ve been through the ringer with religion as well, but instead of ditching the idea of god, I ditched the idea that I couldn’t understand god without doctrine. Right and wrong exist. Don’t hurt others and you are doing right. Simple. Perhaps the creator of the universe designed this simplicity. Maybe we don’t understand “god”. I have been studying natural law. Check out Mark Passion sometime. He seems to have a pretty good grasp on the subject. I’d love to hear what you think about his insights.