Lucas had felt different ever since the accident. Not bad really just… different. Sort of.. Numb. not physically, physically he was just fine, he had been in the back seat where as the car had been smashed in at the front so he was physically just fine. But he had never been the same after that night. He never laughed at jokes, never even smiled anymore. He never even talked anymore. Not since that night. He always seemed to be floating off, not quite all there, not quite paying attention. Not since that night. The one night that changed his life. The one night that changed everything.
Twelve Years Earlier
The car sped down the deserted highway, not a soul around to say anything about it. Other than the two in the car, that is. But they were both busy. The young boy in the back seat too occupied playing with his toy plane to care or even know how fast they were going and the mother too lost in thought to notice she was speeding. Not to say she would care either if she were paying attention. The mother hadn’t even noticed that she had started to slide into the other lane, thinking they were alone so it was safe to drift off into thought.
She had never even noticed as the truck had came barreling out of nowhere, the driver no doubt thinking he too was alone on the seemingly deserted highway. She had never even had the time to notice anything other than her own thoughts before the front of the car had been smashed in, crushing her. The boy in the back seat had been knocked unconscious but was mostly okay other than the fact his mother had just been killed. He had woken just in time to see the driver of the truck that had hit them driving away to save his own hide. Typical.
The Present
So no. Lucas doesn’t talk anymore and he didn’t feel much of anything either. They had tried to get him to take medication but it hadn’t changed anything. I guess after witnessing something like that does something to a person. Something only the people who have experienced such a thing can explain. I’m not one of those people but he is and I’ll try my best to tell his story.
Before the accident he had been like any other five year old. He had liked planes and wanted to be a pilot some day. He had always wished for a little brother and came home with a scraped knee more than once. He had been your run of the mill five year old with dreams and ambitions. Then the accident happened.
He had stopped talking all together. Stopped smiling and laughing but you already know all of this. The important stuff is when he was alone. You’d think when he was alone he’d finally break down, cry a little, do something. But he didn’t.
Even when he was alone all he did was sit and wait for someone to ask him if he was okay or how he was doing. He didn’t really understand why they did it anymore, they all knew he wasn’t going to reply. He supposed they did it to feel better about themselves. After all, what would people think? That’s all anyone cares about anymore. What other people would think. Personally, he couldn’t give a shit what other people cared about him. And neither could I.
So everything stayed exactly the same for the next twelve or so years. But that’s where I came in. I came crashing into his life one day like some sort of meteor or something. His dad had just started making him go back to school, saying something about wanting him to have a “normal life”. Too bad he met me first. I didn’t care that he didn’t talk. It’s a good thing I quite like to talk though, or it might’ve been a bit awkward. So every day at lunch we’d sit and eat and I’d talk. He always seemed like eating was a bit of a chore for him. I can’t imagine why, I love eating. I didn’t know it at the time but I had changed something. I had started to make him feel something again.
I think the moment I realized something was different, that something was changing was the first time I made him smile. It kind of shocked me, actually, it had been over some stupid joke but he had smirked. Not much but he did. All I could think about in that moment was getting him to smile again. And I did. Slowly but surely he had started to smile. Actually smile. I was amazed. One day I had been over for dinner and I made another dumb joke and he had smiled. His dad looked so shocked I thought he had stopped breathing all together for a few minutes.
But I didn't say anything about it and just kept talking. I know he wouldn’t have wanted me or his father to point out the fact that he had smiled. I know all too well how it feels to have people asking if you’re okay all the time and freaking out any time you make the slightest improvement. So I kept quiet. I kept talking until his father seemed to catch on and started participating in conversation instead of just letting me flounder. It took a second for it to get going but it eventually stopped being awkward and I could tell Lucas slowly relaxed.
Later that night Lucas had walked me out to my car and hesitated to open my door for me like he usually does. It was totally unexpected when he surged forward and kissed me for the first time. So it’s understandable that it took me a second to register what was happening. I didn't mean to upset him, I really didn't I was just surprised is all. So when he pulled away looking hurt I finally snapped back to it and pulled him back, kissing him back this time.
When we finally pulled apart for air he smiled that genuine, contagious smile of his and pecked my lips once more before holding my door open for me, waiting until I got in to close my door then leaning down through my window to kiss me again. I could swear I was floating. I never got over that feeling. Never got over the floating and the contagious smiles. His dad had called me later and thanked me. Apparently I’ve made quite the impact on his son.
The next day at school Lucas had been even better. He had sat closer to me, he had been smiling practically all day. He had even laughed when I made a snarky, sarcastic comment to Mercy, the girl at school that picks on me. Turns out it too was so genuine and contagious I couldn’t help but laugh along with him. He has that way about him. So I smiled and laughed with him until my stomach hurt.
It makes me happy to know I caused this. That I caused the Silent Boy to laugh. I feel as if I’ve gotten the deaf to hear and the blind to see. I know it’s not as big as all that to most people but to me it’s everything. Because he is my everything. I would sacrifice anything to hear his laugh constantly.
I had smiled all day. Couldn’t stop. And I honestly didn't want to. Since I’m being so honest with you, I hadn’t just been the only person to make the Silent Boy happy since his mother. The Silent Boy had been the only person to make me happy, well… ever. He’s the only person to make me laugh so hard my stomach hurts. He’s the only person to make me hurt in a way that I don't want him to go away.
But I knew the smiling would end the second I get home. My shit father would no doubt be drunk again, like he has been every night since my mother ran out on us. That had been when I was only a baby. And… well let’s just say he’s not a happy drunk. So I walk around until it gets dark and then some. Until I’m sure he’s going to be passed out on the couch instead of awake and within throwing and hitting distance.
So when I do finally go home, I don’t expect him to be there. Awake and in a rage because I hadn’t been home earlier. He had grabbed my arm and dragged me to my room, intending to lock me in there all night and probably most of tomorrow, all the while yelling about how he was “worried” about me. Bullshit.
He drags me toward my room by the arm, hard enough I know there will be a bruise there, not like that’s anything new. That’s when I recall a moment earlier. A split second. I had just snapped at Mercy and there was a deafening moment of silence before the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard bubbled up out of the Silent Boy as he laughed. I had immediately started laughing with him after the shock wore off. It’s the happiest I’ve been in a long time. It’s what compelled me to do what I did next.
He’s not expecting it when I suddenly yank my arm out of his grasp, I don’t think even I am expecting it fully. It kind of just… happened. I stop in shock for a moment before my feet obey my command to move, but I’m already too late. His hand has swung and left it’s familiar mark on my face. Again, I don’t think either of us are expecting it when I continue to fight back. But this time I’m prepared.
The second I hit the floor I’m up again and running out of the open door, running as fast as my legs will carry me to my car, easily faster than my drunk father. I jump in and start the car, taking off just in time to see my father running out of the building, yelling something I can’t hear. I guess I’m in shock. Because the next thing I’m aware of I’m sitting in front of Lucas’ house in my car, that’s been turned off and gone cold from how long I’ve been sitting there.
The next time I’m aware of where I am and what’s happening, Lucas, the beautiful, magical, Silent boy, the one person that could maybe piece me back together, is there, looking so concerned and all I can think about is wiping that look off his face and replacing it with a smile. So I weakly smile at him, trying as hard as I can and even though it’s not much, I get a small relieved smile in return. And if there’s one thing that could make anyone feel better, it’s a smile from the Silent Boy.
He eventually gets me out of my car and into the house, making me a cup of tea without being asked. I can tell he’s worried in the way he keeps glancing at me, his eyes always meeting the forming bruise on my cheek before he really looks at my eyes. I can tell he wants to know, he wants to ask but I know he won’t. He’ll wait until I’m ready then I’ll inevitably spill everything to him in one big rant. That’s one thing I can always count on Lucas for. It’s the same thing he can always count on me for.
The first time he talks I’m so shell shocked I can’t speak for a moment. We’re laying in bed, on our sides, and he’s just staring into my eyes when he suddenly just says it. “I love you, Anarose…” It’s whispered, so soft I almost don’t hear it. Once I finally snap out of it and register what he just said I just give him a small but meaningful smile and say “I love you too, Lucas…” it’s whispered, so soft no one else would hear unless they were right there, but it has incomparable meaning.
