When I'm with you, I feel happy, feel comfortable and feel cared for. Just because of that, the way you made me want you so much. How many times have I told you that I love rainbows, bringing brightness in every darkness. Like now, I managed to find you in the darkness, I managed to find a rainbow that can give color to my life. I have never felt sick or hurt because your presence always makes me feel special.
Spatter soaked the roof of my house, I almost fell asleep if only, mother did not knock on my door "There is faith on the porch of Diah" he said. I left the room and approached Faith on the terrace
Faith looks at me and frowns "Are you sleeping Diah? Aren't we going to the beach this afternoon to see the rainbow? " he asked
"I am tired" Faith "I answered soberly
Faith is my lover, we have been dating since 5 years ago. This afternoon, I was reluctant to travel even though my house was so close to the coast and although usually I was very happy to wait for the rain to stop to go to the beach to see a rainbow with Faith. I looked out of the house seems to rain will subside, I sigh softly
"Diah, I'm leaving for Paris tomorrow, you promised to carve my name when the rainbow rises," the word screeched in my ear, I nodded and smiled wryly. This is my reason why I am reluctant to travel, I am not ready to part with him "let's go" Faith took my hand and I obeyed without passion.
"Diah, you will drive me to the car tomorrow?" Faith spoke as if without a burden, he thought I was a strong girl who could not possibly be fragile because of his departure when, in fact, I was so afraid of his own death. If only, the dream of studying in Paris had long accompanied his dream, I would force him here. Accompany me see a rainbow
"Paris has always been my dream country. The opportunity to get a scholarship to study in Paris only happened once, I wanted to deepen my knowledge there. You understand, Diah? " I nodded "Diah from earlier you just stay quiet. Speak up! I want to hear your voice, "he continued, ignoring my fear
"I will sculpt your name here" I pointed at the large boulder I used to sit with, I knelt down and began to carve his name
"In two years I will be back, we will see this stone Diah, I will bring a photo of the eifel tower and bring your favorite romantic movie but sorry if it is not a Korean film but, I will try to find it. After returning home I promise to carve your name in this stone Diah "Faith spoke at length, he buried my head into his broad chest. My body trembled and without tears in my eyes, I quickly wiped them “Diah, look at the rainbow! I promise the rainbow to always love you Diah ”
"I can't take you tomorrow, send me an email when you arrive in Paris," I croaked. Faith nodded and smiled broadly
Two years, in Korea
For the past two years, I have been treated in Korea, I don't know how much longer I have to wait for the doctor to let me go home, but my body is so weak to bear this leukemia well, about 5 months ago almost all of my organs could not be moved, I just lay down weak on the bed, I can't open my eyes just want to see the laptop screen to read emails from Faith, lately if Faith sends me an email, a mother who reads without being able to reply. Like now, my mother accompanied me to the hospital "Diah, you have been hospitalized for almost two years, the doctor has never told my mother that you are allowed to go home. My child, can you survive? Mother is willing to just replace this malignant disease, child, "said the mother crying, I listened to the mother's words and remembered that Faith should have returned to Indonesia.
I move my hand to touch the laptop in front of me, I feel the keypad to remember the letters on my laptop, my fingers start typing letters for Faith, I don't know whether my letter is read or not but, hopefully Faith can read it and understand my situation. Amid the sound of the keypad I pressed, I heard the crying of my mother like fear, I was struck to hear it and felt pain every time she cried because she was worried about me. The letter for Faith was finished, she helped send it because she understood that I had difficulty moving the mousepad. My fingers did not stop here, I typed a second time ... ‘mother does not need to cry with Diah, Diah is okay it's just, Diah wants to rest, Diah is tired mom. Forgive Diah, making mother worried, Diah wants you to be able to arrange your life without Diah later, I promise to Diah that everything will be fine. Diah loved mom ’my hand moved to touch the hand of mother" yes son yes yes, everything will be fine "mother said while crying. Instantly, the pain hit my body, I could not breathe oxygen even, I could not hear your mother's cry, I could not feel the doctor coming to examine me and at that moment, I could cry, I could shed tears and exhale one last time.
Faith, in Indonesia
Upon arrival in Indonesia, Iman did not intentionally tell Diah because he wanted to surprise Diah finally, with a happy feeling of Faith at Diah's house but, there were quiet several times Faith knocked on the door but, there was no answer. Faith thought that Diah was on the beach so, Faith went after her. Arriving at the beach there was no Diah there, Faith approached a lump of stone that was familiar to him, he sat on the stone and touched his name sculpture, Faith smiled ‘where are you?’ He muttered. Faith was confused, so he contacted Diah, but instead of calling Faith, he was eager to check the email first, Faith stared at the instant he saw that his inbox contained emails from Diah. With misgivings he opened and read it ..
Dear rainbow of my life, I'm sure you will return to Indonesia soon. Sorry Faith, I can't pick you up at the airport because I was treated in Korea, I could only lay weak with the help of a doctor covering my body. Faith if you understand, I'm bored here even though sometimes I often watch my favorite Korean movies but, that's not my wish, I want to see a rainbow and accompany you to sculpt my name on the beach. Faith if you understood, the girl you always said was strong, now could only curl up in pain, I could not move almost all my organs, I was just a girl who had no hope of life. Honest Faith, I'm tired of every doctor coming to inject drugs in my body. However, you don't need to feel the pain that I feel. I just want you to go home immediately, please grant your words to carve my name on the stone, I want you to carve stories when we are together, when we ride horses, when we write letters to God and send them through balloons, when I write your name and the waves erase it, when we make a sand castle even when sitting alone with you is very impressive Faith. I wish that if you saw the name on the stone, you would remember a name that accompanied you to see the rainbow. Sorry faith I did not tell you that all this time leukemia has accompanied my life, I thought by being here I would recover and be able to welcome you but, I was wrong, I could only welcome you through this email. My faith is happy to make decisions in care in Korea, I hope you also never regret studying in Paris. Please Faith, if only I returned to Indonesia without a breath, take care of yourself and promise me that everything will be fine. I love you faith ’
After reading Diah's e-mail, Faith buried his hands in his head, he was disappointed, sad and confused ?, He was confused about what to do, Faith felt very guilty, his eyes began to water and he heard the sound of an ambulance squealing in his ear then, 'do I have to step to see a rainbow without you Diah? 'He muttered to himself
