It was back in 2013 when I was in 10th class. I was in the C section which was full of talented and hard working kids. I am happy that the class teacher was always trying to teach us something through that spark of competition. It was mostly through tests and discipline. I was the monitor back then which was not liked by some of the boys.
Teenage is such a tender age where passions run in our blood and we are driven by emotions and not by logic. I was too passionate during this age. I was appointed monitor by the class teacher and those few students did not acknowledge my position. It was like water off a duck's back for them. My performance and whatever I tried to do during the curricular and extra curricular activities was mostly ignored by them.
It always infuriated me. I could not figure out why their attention mattered that much to me, but it did. Their nonchalant behavior was on my head all the time. I wanted to prove myself to them. There was no one to tell me that my progress and performance should be solely for myself and not for others.
I stood first among the tests conducted in the class and I over performed them in the board exams too. Still, there were no words of appreciation from them. Little did they talked to me and that too about the timings of the class. It was, sadly, turning me crazy.
One day, Mairaj, one of them, and I were left with an assignment given by our class teacher. We both were alone after the school. It was an English assignment. I tried to be the better version of myself here as well. I wanted to prove that I know the assignment. I direly wanted to get something out of Mairaj. I completed the assignment without taking much of the help from him. I could not trace anything from the expressions of Mairaj and we both mostly remained silent through out those 2 hours.
I kept thinking that this time the water went off the duck's back too. This thought kept me hooked the entire night. Puzzled and nervous, I could not sleep that night properly.
The next day while presenting the assignment, I took all the credit. I now realize that it was a mistake. Our class teacher told me to meet him in his office after the class.
When I went there, he said," Do you know why you have no friends in your class?"
I replied with puzzled and nervous voice," I have a lot of friends in the class, sir."
"Name a few of them", he said,
I remained clueless and could not even name one of them. I knew them as my classmates only; classmates who were a competition for me.
Sir Javed said," You have seen them as your competition. Have you ever tried to help them or have you ever tried getting their help? You are missing out on a lot of things, Abrar. Your friends will have a lot of beautiful memories, memories that they will cherish later on. What about you? Will you take anything other than your lessons and good grades? You still have time to make good friends."
I could not say anything and went straight to my classroom to Mairaj. I apologized to him and said that I was wrong all this time and my behavior was not right yesterday.
Since then, I realized that not everything is water off the duck's back. Some things are different and should be treated differently. I was a teenager after all and it is normal for a teenager to make such mistakes.
I have made a lot of friends since then. Competition is still a part of my academic ventures, but I try to avert it in my relationships.
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PS: The pictures are mine.
