I have been away for roughly 3 days, and I think it's something I wanted to do because I was burnt out. Writing has always been hard for me because I feel like my thoughts don't flow naturally, and I get insecure. For the past days, I've been watching art tutorials online and drawing another mastercopy as I've mentioned on my previous blog. And it really helped me to get my act together for my personal growth as an artist and my growth here in steemit.
So, what's up?
I almost stopped drawing again. And I really felt sick thinking that it might take another month for me to draw something, so I immediately went over to my favorite YouTube channels to keep myself inspired even though I couldn't bring myself to draw and I kept procrastinating.
Let me share to you my list of favorites:
- Cesar Santos
- Jennifer Marie's Atelier Diary
- FurryLittlePeach
- Draw Mix Paint
- VitruvianStudio
- Fine Art Academy
- Jeff Watts
- Minnie Small
Honestly, I could name some more but these channels are very special to me thus the mention. FurryLittlePeach is a watercolour artist, while Minnie Small uses Gouache mainly. They are the only channels which are not close to my style, but they inspire me so much and their easthetic is top-notch! I do hope you visit the channels!
Favorite segment from my favorite artist. His sketchbook is to die for!
And then I had an open conversation with an artist I highly respected although he is still a student himself. I discovered Noah Olsen online a few months ago through the Academy of Realist Art, Boston's Facebook page and I fell in love with his works and thoughts, so I immediately added him. I remember telling that he must teach in the future because he has this way of explaining things that is truly philosophical and incredibly inspiring.
For example:
What I took away from this one was Bargue's usage of line quality. In areas that don't matter as much or that are in an earlier stage of the drawing and aren't as solidified by measurements, Bargue used more erratic, hasty linework, such as for the box the model is sitting on. You can also see this in the beginning, searching lines in the arm on the right. Yet as he progresses to further stages of the drawing he uses more deliberate, carefully drawn, subtle linework, like in the leg and foot closer to us. This reminds the artist as he works (and any potential viewer) what has been studied more and what the artist is more confident about the placement and attitude of. It separates the first draft from the 2nd pass and so on.
Additionally, even though this is only a line drawing without any shadows, Bargue tells us about the direction of the light through the linework. The light is coming from the top left, as is evidenced by the darker, thicker lines on bottom facing forms and right facing forms.
But line weight is also used to show sharper and softer edge quality, bone versus flesh, distance, overlaps, and muscular tension in the pose. It was very informative to study Bargue's language of lines. I will definitely do more studies like this! #Bargue #atelier #academyofrealistart #drawing #mastercopy #graphitedrawing #line #weight #figure
Needless to say, he is special. And last Sunday, he asked me questions that really got me thinking and I am so glad he opened up because, again, I was in an art rut myself. The conversation went like this:
Noah: Can I ask you a question that might seem odd? Why do you like looking at and making art? Why is art important to you?
Me: (1) Hi, Noah! Not odd at all. Wait. Let me collect my thoughts. (2) Aside from the natural love for art, I think it boils down to the fact that it is therapeutic for me. I am a highly sensitive person with a couple of mental issues. And I love making art because it silences my mind which is usually full and chaotic. You hear that cliche thing they say that it is their escape? Well, art for me is an escape as well. And I usually like what Van Gogh said that what is done in love is done well. And there is nothing more beautiful than labour of love.
Noah: (1) Thank you for sharing. So you are saying that one big aspect of making art is that you find it meditative? And through lovingly, studiously working you create a product that represents that love and the beauty of that? (2) Does that mean that you like looking at art because you are studying someone else's love filled work? If I am off on any of these, let me know. I am trying to make sure I understand. (3) Also, what would you define a natural love for art as? Thanks again!
Me: (1) Yes, meditative. I have actually addressed it once, and Ms. Julie Beck said something like it is okay to feel that way (being depressed and all) because after all we are dealing with something that requires our feelings. And yes, exactly! You know why I am excited to discover my style or my trademark in art? It's because that will represent what is beauty and love for me. I find it difficult to take away those two things when I make art. (2) That is correct, and also it is like trying to understand that person without requiring words. When I see works of Van Gogh, I ache. He is such a wonderful soul, but twisted in a way or two. And I believe it really shows in his works. And his character also showed when he went to the other direction when everyone's following one single line. How he pursue impressionism even though the academic institutions were so strict during his time. Basically I love looking at art because it is labour of love and shows the persons character, and if you look more deeply, you'll connect more (with the artist.) (3) The last question is kinda tough. Let me think. Although if I can show my heart, you'll know I just want to make art. I hope that makes sense though.
Noah: (1) It does make sense. Thank you for taking this time to explain to me how art makes you feel! (2) I was feeling a little down, and I often have a lot of struggles with finding meaning through art. So when you explain how you feel about art, it helps me remember that if art has purpose for you and for other people, then it is worth pursuing for me. Even in moments where I can't feel its meaning. Does that make sense?
Me: (1)Ahh that feeling. I experienced it, too. A couple of times. I think one of the factors is self-doubt. What do you think? Thats what I felt during those years. (I ddnt draw for 2 years, I only started June of this year.) I hope you'll feel better soon!
Noah: Thanks. I do have a lot of self-doubt. And a lot of moments where I don't know if I like art or understand how it is valuable. In general I have a lot of doubting, questioning and self consciousness about pretty much everything in my life. But I just push through it, because I think it is more about my perception of reality than it is about what is actually going on. I am getting better at dealing with it though. Thanks for the discussion and your openness!
This reminded me that even the most talented people I know get lost, too. And it's kind of comforting in a way, although I really wish for people I admire to not doubt themselves because their success is my happiness.
And yes, I managed to draw again after our conversation.
Being away from steemit for that long made me realize how much I wanted to deliver something worth reading. I value people who reads my posts and I do not want to disappoint as much as possible. If I can, I would delete some of my unpaid posts even if it means losing money from upvotes and comments.
Quality over quantity, y'all!
Follow me over at Facebook & Instagram.Namaste!