The story about how I got a hole in one and was not as overjoyed about this moment of glory as you would think.
When we were teenagers, too young to get into the pubs and too good to be out causing trouble, we'd visit the pitch and putt golf course at one of the parks in town.
If I remember correctly, it cost one pound fifty each, but we didn't like spending money on something we could gain access to and use with our own clubs and balls. I think during the 100+ times we played there, the old lady in the 'clubhouse' only came out to clear us off once. The weather that day was awful - maybe she was protecting the course
That one day aside though, throughout the summer it would be our free entertainment, exercise, and a right laugh.
I am left handed, but when I started playing I'd use friends clubs. I soon got used to swinging the 'right' way, and at one point did try the left-handed club only to hate it. Give me a tennis racket though and I'll be holding it with the left hand. Yeah, lefties are a bit special.
Anyway, one sunny afternoon we made our way onto the course to soak up some sun and play our usual rules. Every hole was a par 4, even though some were only 30 yards, and if the ball was a foot or so away from the hole then you'd get a gimme. I think the record score set was 21 under - much better for everyone's mood to go round under par each time.
The first round wasn't that memorable, except on the 8th hole I think it was, the hole was 'watered'. It hadn't rained for a few days at least but this hole was waterlogged. Then we realised, someone had taken a leak in it quiet recently. Pretty gross, and not exactly the most hidden pissing location. Anyway, the putts were covered from plopping into the hole, and we continued round without interruption enjoying our course.
Considering it was 'free', there were never usually that many people around - not that we were ever complaining about that. The second round began without any major problems. 'Gimme'? Yeah, you can have that one, was probably the most common phrase used. We were competitive, but also overly kind on some of these gimme's, particularly given the bumpy greens and out playing standard.
We got to the 8th again and I tee'd up my ball, without a tee, and gave it a crack. The 8th was one of the longer holes, maybe 50/60 yards and had a ditch that separated the teeing area and the green. The greens were are pretty small compared to a standard course, and getting some air to make the ball stop was the order of the day on most holes.
The ball took off with a nice looking elevation and at good direction towards the invisible pin, but look long. One bounce though, and then it disappeared.
I was proper chuffed, until one of my mates exclaimed:
That's the piss hole!
Bollocks.
My best shot of the day and my only ball is now swimming in someones urine. We walked over and took a look, the ball wasn't even visible and I had to fish it out with my club which was now also covered in piss.
I didn't mind that much though, the story still comes up when we discuss those glory days on the golf course. Still a hole in one, no matter what's lurking in the hole.
Cheers
Asher
