There were times I thought I was sad, depressed and all but not knowing it was just hunger showing me something small. Ever since I realized that hunger had the tendency to reduce my mood to nothing, I made sure no matter how I was feeling I ate first and if that thing still persisted, I would then find alternatives. I don’t even want to say I’m a last born anymore, so let’s say I’m the last human being my mom gave birth to. Yes, sounds better. Due this position of mine in my family, it’s really hard for you to catch me doing any tedious so I barely feel stressed at home.
I mean what concerns me with anything difficult when there are older siblings. Now, take me out of the house and that’s where the struggle starts. I remember how for so many years I never felt stressed especially throughout my education because school is and will always be my comfort zone.When my friends complained about many assignments and presentations, I would lowkey be surprised because that’s what school is for, or?
After school, I started working and I realized oh no, this was a whole different issue because just a little pressure and I was already melting. Anyway, as I was saying, I wasn’t feeling any sort of stress for a long time so when I started working and the stress started building up on me, it was really weird. I couldn’t even identify it was stress. I tried my food thing and ate almost everytime I felt “that way”, thinking maybe it’s just hunger lashing me in different angles. Unfortunately for me, it didn’t work.
You know how I got to know I was stressed? The hospital! Yes, I found myself in the hospital onetime and I was told all the tests were negative and I really needed rest because I was tired. I couldn’t believe it because how could a workaholic like me be tired. I tried staying home for a while and it didn’t even work. I think it had something to do with my brain. My body was well rested but my brain was all over the place. I was even in therapy, booked appointments to see doctors.
My cousin died so I had to come home for her funeral. After the funeral, I went to the beach and like magic, the whole thing about my brain stopped. I felt like it was relaxed and quiet. That was how I got to know sleeping, resting and all were only stress relievers for my body, but my brain? My eyes would need to see the ocean, my hands through the waves and then everything is reset back for me.
Ever since I was a kid, beach days were always a must during vacation and now that I think of it, it’s probably why I always have to find my way to beach before being able release stress. I’m very grateful I found this solution early, if not I don’t know what would have happened.
All images are mine
