I'm a first generation PK. This means that one of my parents (which in my case was my father), was a pastor. As you may know, children of such parentage have been stereotyped over the years. People expect so much from you or they expect so little.
I live in Southern Nigeria and the region has seen a massive growth in the number of churches over the past few decades. More churches means more pastors, and more pastors would obviously mean more pastor's children or what some call PK's. In this post I wish to share just a little about my life as a PK and a few misconceptions I grew up to hear.
As a child, my day would begin with a family devotion in the morning and end with a goodnight prayer from my dad or mum by my bedside. Staying back from church was a no no and we were occasionally given small lessons at home from the Bible. It wasn't like a military training, it was more like story telling or interactive time. We were taught to find God in everything from food, play or even clothes.
We were permitted an 'ok' kind of social life. Mom and dad wouldn't let us go for any party they didn't know the parents of the kids or at least know that there was a godly or pure intent behind it. Parties organized by Christian circles were always ok. My friends were always monitored to be sure they wouldn't influence me negatively. We were restricted from watching violent or any TV program with sexually explicit content. If my mom saw a program with a lady in bikinis she would likely change the station.
I was just a child and most times I didn't understand their intent. Sometimes it felt like they hated anything fun. The pressure was a lot for me and I suffered depression in my teenage years.
Am grown now and I've had lots of time to reflect on those years. My dad happens to be late and my mom is well in to her years. To crown it all, I live on my own now. When I look at all the Christian families, I see that mine was not too different from theirs. The world is a crazy place. There are so many children who because of poor parental upbringing have grown into monsters wondering the streets of our cities and putting panic into the lives of our citizenry. So I conclude that my parents wanted to protect me from such a life. Am not saying that all that stuff made me perfect, but it sure gave me direction. Years after, it all looks like a road map. The pieces fit.
If you've never really been part of the personal life of a PK you may have a few misconceptions flooding your head about us. If you could spare me the time I'll share a few I've come across.
Heard people say PK's are pretenders. Let me explain what happens to some of us. Our parent's job requirement happens to include several hours of counselling sessions. In those sessions they hear new threats to family life. When they come home they decide to effect a defence mechanism in their own homes. And what's the result of all this? Their children are handed a one way ticket. We are told what to and what not to do and consequences for disobedience. But we are humans and want to explore our options and be able to make the choices from our own will. I don't see that as pretence. Its perfectly part of the human nature to me. The only sad thing is that for some, after exploring they prefer the option they weren't given.
Some folks think that our parents have brainwashed us so much that we don't know what is fun. We do. We are allowed to do anything except for what is sinful and what brings disgrace to God's name.
I heard this one when I visited my father at the Bible College were he was lecturing. People would see me and tell me stuff like "ministry will be much more easier for you because you are father is a pastor", or "your father's grace covers you". I don't wish to argue the theology behind it, I just want to tell you that becoming a preacher needs your personal decision and study.
This is a huge misconception even among PK's themselves. When I broke into my teenage years, I began to question everything I was taught. It was as though I started my life over. At some point in my life I even began to doubt the existence of God, because I couldn't understand or explain His existence along side all the evil in the world. When I got close to my 20's a friend in high school shared Jesus with me and I gave my life to Christ. What my parents taught me was in my head, I needed to let Him into my heart. Every PK has to do it.
In conclusion, what I loved most about being a PK was that sometimes you get to sit at the VIP section in a meeting or you wouldn't have wait too long before getting served food in an event.
PK's are as human as every one else and are very prone to a lot of character defects if all the experiences are not properly managed. It wasn't a life we chose, our parents made their choice, we just had to follow. But to be honest with you, I don't have any regrets. I consider myself lucky...
