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Hi everyone, it's Abeegail again. I'm here to give my hot take today. There's this conversation on how parents struggle and sacrifice for their kids, to make a better life for them. But we never have the conversation on how children also sacrifice for their parents, especially for kids who grew up middle class or poor. We are so quick to talk about parents sacrifices because they are so easy to see, and children's sacrifices are silent and are never talked about.
Kids sacrifice too, their dreams, goals, ambitions, hobbies just because their parents can't afford to. We never talk about the child who kept quiet about her wants because she noticed that money was tight or the girl who gave up her dreams because there wasn't enough money to chase that, or the "Nahhhh, it's not a big deal" when in fact it is, or the child that compromise on that prestigious school she always wanted to attend because the family didn't just have such money. They learn to adjust without being told or asked. They learn that being good is low maintenance and easier on their parents, so the become that.
Some kids sacrifice their childhood, especially the older ones, they understand so they become way more mature, that they act like the second parents, manage emotions, calm fights, shrink themselves for less chaos, for peace. They never got to be children because they were to busy becoming adults. They choose the closer university, the "safe" course.
We've all been kids and we've also sacrificed for our parents and we know what it means and most of the times we do this out of love. I'm not here to blame the parents because we do it to because we feel like it makes it easier for you. We self-sacrifice because we see your struggle, work and effort and we say let me take that burden off to help you a little bit. But this i feel affects us later because we learn and think that our role is to make life easier for others, or that I don't need to ask for help.
But the goal here is to create a safe space in the family where parents can admit they’re struggling without children feeling responsible for fixing it and children can have needs without feeling selfish. Because yes, parents sacrifice, but kids do too. And their sacrifices deserve to be seen, not to compete, not to measure, but to understand what love can look like in the family.
It's Still Abeegail ✨💗
Thanks for Reading.
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