The Lies We Tell; Part Four

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I'm home in bed staring at my ceiling listening to an endless barrage of very sweet exchange between my parents and some guy downstairs
"Sychophants, hypocrites, hypocritical sychophats, psycholo...hmm"

In case your wondering, all is right in the world right now,
my sister has temporarily forgotten my drinking spree ( because I was the hero and saved dear old fiance),
Dave is working hard to get a new job, doting on my sister as always acting too lovey dovey, oblivious to the ticking time bomb present in his body where the sun doesn't shine
And me?
Well I'm back on my bed doing the saturday usual, saying words trying to distract myself from my alcohol craving.

 Oh yes! and lastly something is bugging me something big is bugging me. You know that feeling you get when you've forgotten something important and you can't figure out what it is but you know- you just know you're in deep shit.

Maybe its a programme I'm meant to attend, afterall it is a saturday , I roll to my left side and pick my phone from my bedside table. Notifications is blank, No events

I open the app tray, slide left, slide right then slide left and right again not really focusing

And then it hits me and I drop my phone like a plague staring at it in disbelief
"No No No No God No!"
My hands start shaking as I run to my cabinet and pour myself a glass of "Red Label"
I pick up my phone and open the app, staring at the blue painted boxes in disbelief
Last friday, the friday dave and I..you know had been my fertile day

Now I remember
Oh somebody please wake me up
I should have taken the morning after pill. Someone please tell me this is a dream!!
I'm in deep shit.

I love my sister...Sips.. .My sister is getting married. Sips.... To Dave. Sips....who I woke up naked next to. Drains the sachet of squadron , picks another.

My eyes are getting cloudy and my senses are dulling, which is exactly what I need to survive this trip.
Exactly what I need to survive a car ride with my engaged sister and a man who I've started picturing without clothes a lot these days. Drains the sachet again and picks another

A man who isn't showing signs of painful urination or discomforts. Sips some more
A man unconcerned about my suffering mind. Sips
A man currently laughing with my sister. Drains the sachet, and Picks another

"Slow down Rachael" my sister chides softly "Please slow down"
I look at her for a minute observing her glowing face
"I'm not drunk" I answer and she shakes her head

"Rachael, I need your mind fresh for this, you are good at hammering at prices, drink small small so you can cordinate"
I ignore and turn to watch Dave through the car mirror only to find him looking at me with concern, I quickly look away
"Sis dont worry" I take a deep cleansing breath "just pick a house, leave it to me"
 And they both leave in peace and go right back to yabbing each other

I keep drinking.I know you think me inhumane and terrible and a drunk and a disappointment but I was normal once, I believed in success, in people, in hardwork and commitment, in morals and discipline

But trust me it takes a Boss who sexually harasses you, pumps you full of Stds, kicks you off your job, a cheating boyfriend, successful girlfriends and burnt credentials to shove reality in your face. Damn!!

And by reality, I mean countless numbers of squadron in your bag, a posible bun in the oven and naked images of your future brother in law

The car slides slowly and then stops leaving me in awe of the building infront of me, A magnificent storey building stood in front of me showered by excited giggles from my sister whose door is opened by a bowing Dave

"Welcome to The Walter's crib, Mrs Walter"

I step slowly out of the car (by myself might I add), squadron and hand bag in both hands and I suddenly feel like throwing up at the sight of the house, the sound of my sister giggling and the deep timbre of Daves voice as he fuels her giggles
How can they be so nauseatingly happy while I worry over his mistakes
How can he forget how he begged me to stay "Stay please Rachael.

Stay tuned for the next part

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