Manifesting step by step!
Write every day, line by line, page by page, hour by hour. Do this despite fear. For above all else, beyond imagination and skill, what the world asks of you is courage, courage to risk rejection, ridicule and failure. As you follow the quest for stories told with meaning and beauty, study thoughtfully but write boldly. Then, like the hero of the fable, your dance will dazzle the world.”
~ Robert McKee
Write boldly!
I am not sure what caused such writing block in my mind for so long?
It’s a daily struggle finding the right words for a total chaos of my million of thoughts. Meditation helps to empty my brain to reprogram it, to fill it up with beauty and wonderful memories, missions, dreams, purpose and goals.
Once I wrote an article about Trungpa’s book called “The Orderly Chaos”. My favorite chapter is called The Razors Edge. Oh Yes! That’s where I am walking for months, actually years since I nearly lost my life back in Bali, my home for over 16 years.
I am tip toe-ing on the edge as well as possible but sometimes I find myself falling left in a deep abyss and of course get up again until I find myself smashing down on the right side.
Climbing up and up trying to recover, starting a new dance. Trying to hold my balance of feelings all over again and again.
So exhausting!
My body started to feel pain and was damaged with disease. The signs that we have to change something drastically! I did conquer nearly all beasts so far but that’s a story for another time.
Can I ever forget such dramatic events? Is it really possible to hide horrific moments under the carpets like my mother used to do.
Is it really possible to forget those scary seconds facing death!?
It’s been nearly 4 years since I took one suitcase and left in my flip flops and never turned back.
I did loose everything I ever worked for……except life.
It seems that I finally reached the devine time understanding what really happened back then, facing some Demons, not only my own.
I started writing everyday! It’s my kind of much needed solitude with therapy I need so much.
Release IT!
Was it black magic or just a massive wake up call sent from the Universe, showing me that a relationship, once caring and loving started to be toxic and dangerous.
Somewhere along the path I lost track and couldn’t set my boundaries. All was blurry and confusing under daily threats on my safety and sanity.
The Trauma caused me to shut off and switched on a mechanism of protection. I chose to forget that some force tried to take the breath out of my precious life I value highly.
So what went wrong?!
My addiction for Love couldn’t see the Narcissistic signs, those red flags.
I have learnt my lessons……
I finally write page by page….Everyday!
My mission is insight and not blurry anymore!
I turn my back to the past and enjoy the NOW!
Good friends are my motivation & inspiration
Yours
Mammasitta
Yours Mammasitta