I have this reoccurring dream for years now, it is terribly sad, and never loses it's shock value. It always makes me feel "some sort of way", lost, unable to focus. I have never tried to describe it before but since it has happened a couple times recently, I will attempt to do so now.
The untouchable....
Everyone I have ever known is in a circle around me, similar to how you would gather to watch a fight or a dance off. Over the years, the crowd has grown as I have met new people, some of you are there also, many of you faceless, but I can feel your presence. Some of the faces are familiar, but I haven't a clue who they belong to. The individuals in the inner part of the circle are all of the people who I have close relationships with. The clerk from the grocery store is there also and my 1st grade teacher. This is a crowd of thousands.
Immediately as the dream begins, something (or likely several things) that are invisible start attacking me, I am in a basement, it feels very much like the scene from "Fight Club". I am unable to adequately defend myself. I scream and protest, beg for help, but there is no sound. Every retaliation I attempt is weakened seconds before impact. I am beaten, bloody, and I can feel the defeat as if it is a character flaw, part of me. No one in the crowd helps me, there is an invisible barrier, they are unaware of my existence. It feels so uncomfortable, isolated. Everyone in the crowd stares blankly, expressionless. I keep reaching out, occasionally it appears that someone wants to grasp my hand.....but it never happens.
I never die, but it always gets to the point where I am army crawling to escape the attack rather than standing on two feet. Every damn time. I try to run and always collide with some kind of barrier that prevents my escape, this always makes a "crash" dialogue box."
Eventually, the attack stops. Everyone vanishes, I am left in a white space, I walk in every direction, leaving perfectly formed bloody foot prints with every step. at the conclusion of the dream, I can no longer see myself, everything is just white and red with blood.
Then I wake up....
I decided to look into what this dream might mean. I am not sure that I believe that dreams can be/should be interpreted , but I figured it couldn't hurt.
This is what http://www.guidetopsychology.com/dreams.htm had to say about disturbing dreams:
"First, the dreams could be unconscious advice. Second, the dreams could be an admonition, based in guilt.
Third, the dreams could be hints of a repressed trauma. Fourth, the dreams could be psychic premonitions."
We are going to go ahead and throw that fourth one away, because....no. I am not aware of any trauma, but if it was repressed I wouldn't be shrug. Since I guess this is more nightmarish than dreamlike, I will also note that a this can be a side effect of PTSD and also a way to deal with aggression and rage. I am not sure that either of these are really applicable to me though.
This one was just interesting: http://time.com/4921605/dreams-meaning/
Freud would obviously assume it was about sex, no matter what the dream was. However, that article right above points to the idea that dreaming may be a form of some sort of mental cleansing. I like that idea. It also pointed out that 90% of what we dream gets forgotten. I am not sure if that is really a fact. How can you measure that, get out of my brain, data collectors. The lovely @lindahas dreams lucidly often, she writes fantastic stories that grow from dreams, check her out.
Violence
- Repressed anger
- Self punishment
- Struggling with an aspect of oneself
- Terrified
Blood
- Energy Drained
- Emotionally Drained
- Life
Empty Room
- Rejection
- Searching for something
Barrier
- Overlooked
- Obstacle in Emotional Growth/Emotional Repression
Crowd
- Feeling Supported
- Left out
- Being an Individual
After all that, I am not sure any of it feels like it resonates with me. I do spend much of my time exhausted, which does lead to my emotions being a bit off. Maybe I will start with more sleep, I do believe I shall start that right now. Dream on loves.
As always thanks for stopping by!!
All the love-
Additional Sources
https://www.dreamscloud.com/en/dream-dictionary/search/v