You've got a good start here; you're already better than I was in high school, and you're dealing with an interesting topic. I was kind of wondering what Harper did with the shotgun after she saw that it was just her mother. Did she put it away? Stand and talk to her mother with it in her hands? And her mother says "Anxious?" This seems like a bit of an under-reaction. Would a mother allow her mentally ill daughter to own a gun? Anyway, something to think about. Your style is quite engaging. Keep at it!
RE: The Devil Inside Us: Chapter 2