And so it is, in just one week I'm going to be in South America taking my first steps of a new chapter in my life. I won't lie, it feels nerve wrecking but at the same time, exciting. My father has been calling my phone every day too, partly because he has a list of plans in his mind, but mostly because he's anxious too, anxious to see what is going to happen.
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It feels at times that I went to sleep and woke up with gray hairs in my beard. All of the sudden my father is not young anymore, my mother can't climb trees or skateboard like she used to (not joking) and things that I used to see as problems as a child, seem to have lost their meaning, their difficulty.
In one of those conversations with my father, he actually confessed to me that he knew I would one day move to USA, that he knew before even I did. I asked him what he meant, and he simply said that I was probably going to follow in my grandfather's steps, the whole idea of going to America to become your own man, was somewhat programmed into my psyche by him. I don't know if it's entirely true, it very well may be the case, since he was a role model to my brothers and I.
I'm also going to confess something somewhat silly to this little blog of mine, simply because I'm always trying to be honest with myself and because writing these down, allow me to look back to my state of mind with a special type of time-machine. I'm a little worried about finding my place, as ridiculous at it may sound to even type it. I mean, I know I'm going to be fine, I know nothing bad is going to happen to me, it's more like I'm hoping I can find the role I'm supposed to be playing without much paralysis by analysis so to speak.
I'm going to leave this entry here, my mind is all over the place and I'm having a hard time deciding what I'm feeling. I fully realize that sounds like insanity is taking over a bit, but I won't correct that statement, not tonight.
