Hello Online World, It’s Been A While.
In light of normal habit I would’ve filmed a video providing some sort of travel update but as life has had it recently I haven’t picked up my camera once in the last 2 weeks.
I had intentions to make a video a few weeks ago about where I was mentally. For anyone who’s known me long enough on this platform, understands the struggles I’ve experienced these last 9 months with mental health. I think there can be common misconceptions around the travel lifestyle and as much as I appreciate being on the road and in new and exciting places, there has still been a level of displaced emotions within me. I felt like I was aimlessly wondering, not fully finding my feet in the places I found myself, not truly connecting with the people who crossed into my path, not really experiencing the spark that travel has so often given me.
I made the choice to separate from my travel partner to create a bit of stability in my travel life. I knew being on my own again was necessary. This meant not packing up my life every few days to move to a new location and finding some sort of “home base”. I had an intuitive pull to go back to Thailand. “I’ll get a private place, find some friends, practice yoga, work on art, meditate, eat well and balance my external world to help reflect onto my internal world.” ... But things just didn’t play out this way.. the joys of spontaneity.
I had a flight booked to Thailand from Malaysia and due to a slight miscalculation and delay with visas - I missed my flight. I think for a few days I had known in the back of my mind I wasn’t going to make the flight but I tried to remain open to whatever unfolded. I quickly realised all the intentions I had set for Thailand were already manifesting and besides a loss in money, I really wasn’t disappointed. It’s been the first time in a long time that I finally feel I have regained control of my life instead of shifting through a haziness on autopilot.
Instead of creating I’ve been so busy connecting. For the first time since I left Australia I have found a community that I resonant with on the deepest level in a place I least unexpected it. As soon as I arrived to Kuala Lumpur I wanted to leave. I told myself I wouldn’t love the city because people tend to be so disconnected from each other. But lately life has been doing a wonderful job of proving me wrong - a great lesson in humility.
I have never laughed so hard in my life, I’ve never felt so full in my heart by the company around me. I’ve never felt so stimulated, engaged and inspired by every interaction. Everything feels densely rich and significant. It’s so easy to become encapsulated by that and because of that I know that I have been neglecting my online presence and community here on the platform.
At times I feel guilty but I also hope that you can appreciate that I’m just trying to cultivate some foundation in my strive for happiness.
I love you all, I promise!
Hoping all is well in your world. 💗💗
Steepshot