You and I both know what I am talking about. Its not a secret among women for sure, but I'm sure all the men out there are curious what we do in there for soooo damn long.
For those wondering what we are talking about, we are talking about the conversations and the kind of women we bump into in the toilet queues & inside crowded washrooms at various pubs/clubs.
To those who don't know me, I don't go clubbing and party frequently. My ways of enjoying are different, gym, french press at Starbucks, having a drink or 2 with close friends (rarely) or going for a movie alone (It's the best way of enjoying a movie, try it). If somebody ever asked me for suggestions to go clubbing, I go blank and tell them to ask my brother as he knows best.
So basically this is my years of experience that I am about to share. Let's dissect the different type of women and the topic of discussion that takes place in the ladies washroom.Yes boys, the secret is gonna be revealed.
The first and famous discussion is, women discussing their break ups and how much they miss their ex. How badly they want to call them and tell them to go fuck themselves for dumping them/cheating on them. So there will be one friend listening, giving her profound tips on how to get over the ex and how they are assholes/stupid/dick-face for dumping you. Then, the big breakdown and all the crying . Followed by fixing the makeup that was ruined by all the crying and getting ready to go to the dance floor, hunting for the rebound guy/fuck boy.
You all have been in this situation, even I have been through this one too many times. I can't stand to see my friends cry, specially for a boy. Don't give them so much importance in life that it hurts when they leave. I have had to be the soul sister far too many times in these situations & I can very well claim to be an expert in handling women who are going through break ups. I have stood in stinking washrooms for my friends to hug me and cry about the men they love and lost.No regrets here, thats why we have friends. I have pacified unknown women in washrooms who I see cry and have a breakdown in washrooms, I think I should be a shrink. What do you think?
The next are the drunk and about to puke women, who always cut the line and rush ahead of all the women who are dying to pee & leave the washroom too dirty for anyone else to use. Yes.! this happens a lot guys & you know it too well. I have been the drunk puking chick couple of times and it wasn't a pleasant experience at all. Trust me.! Once I rushed alone to the loo to throw up all that booze and believe me or not, women I didn't know are the ones that helped me that night. Women always stick together and help each-other out no matter what, ummm most of the time. Once I was helping a friend while she was throwing up, there I was holding her hair & rubbing her back. I won't be able to do this for any stranger because I might end up throwing up next to them, I'm very sensitive that way. Yuck..!
Then there are some who answer their parents calls in the washroom hoping that the music wont be as audible in there and they can lie through the conversation. I don't know about others, but I have seen it happen far too many times. Best are these cute gujju girls who run to the washroom and they answer the call and say things like "haan papa, aanchal gharma choo, sound? woh TV chalu che" however that goes. I know I am pathetic in gujarati language, I agree too.
Then there are some who are lying to those boyfriends who call out of concern and there they are telling them its a girls night out whereas the truth might be completely different, these girls I don't get why would they want to do such stupid things. Be loyal or leave. Beware boys! Sorry but there are a few like these.
The rest of them are, the ones talking about how small their boobs/ass looks or vice versa. The other friend comforting her telling her its perfect and if she was a guy she would be all over her and so on, been there done that. The other kinds being, I think I will change my preference and I am going to be with a woman from now on because all men are dogs/cheats/assholes (the lesbian in us wakes up during such moments). Then there are those just complimenting other women while adjusting their clothes fluffing up their assets and tell them "OMGD you are soooo beautiful..!", "OMGD your hair is so gorgeous, I wish I had hair like yours & I'm soo jealous", etc. We get so pally when we are drunk to strangers for some odd reason, whereas when some of us are sober we have the resting bitch face. I would name a few if I could, but let's just leave it for now.
So these are some examples from the many women I have come across & it keeps amusing me every single time. I always think that we women are so much more fun, happy, carefree and fascinating when we are a little tipsy. Don't you agree?
Until the next time we bump into each other at some club's stinking washroom. Keep rocking girls..!!