I pretty much grew up as the internet grew up. The internet has got be beat by a few years, but I can still remember the impact the technology had on me growing up. I would spend hours of each day consuming and learning and discovering all sorts of cool things about people, places and things. Today, I still spend a lot of time doing the same stuff, but it feels kind of empty to me.
Tomorrow, I'll spend less time skimming Facebook. This is the last time. I promise.
A Retreat From Daily Life
I used the internet as my drug through high school and as I went to college. Other people found other ways of trying to distract themselves from how boring, tedious and mundane the world is. I never found using drugs or alcohol to be a good escape. I did enjoy eating and was overweight early in my life. Thankfully, I have gotten over this and am able to control what I consume in terms of calories, but so much in terms of internet content.
I grew up in a middle class family and am part of the middle class today. It always bothered me how much time people spend doing stuff that was not worth spending time doing. My parents would spend their evenings watching television and their favorite outside the house activity was going to the movie theater. In my opinion, both are rather anti-social activities that don't really satisfy me, but maybe I'm just different. They grew up with the television, and I grew up with the internet.
Emptiness
Why do I spend so much time on the internet? I mentioned earlier how I do not enjoy the experience as much as I did when I was younger. To me, it just feels empty. I would rather spend time with people and exploring the world, but often I just tend to stick in my comfort zone and only occasionally leave it. Most of the time when I leave, I feel happy. Maybe I should do that more often.
But why comment on just me? That would be rather selfish. I have noticed that within the middle class, people are drifting further into their addictions. Some people drink. Some people eat a lot. Some people binge watch television. Others surf the internet in search of some greater meaning. Most of the time we get stuck on Facebook, however. Maybe they feel empty too. Or maybe that is just me? Who knows.
Fixing My Problems
I have known I have had this problem for a while now. I enjoy diversions away from my computer and take the opportunities when they arise. I might need to be more aggressive leaving this comfort zone. The zone might feel good, but at the same time it does not feel right. It lacks meaning. Most hedonistic pursuits do. I am by no means quitting the internet. But I need to face my existential crisis. I need to forge meaning out of the emptiness.
I don't want to grow old and have memories of technological relics and artificial experience. I want something more.