I was diagnose with MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) on July, 2021. I guess thats a shocked to everybody that knew me.
I was the strong woman as people always see I am. But maybe the stress was built slowly when Covid-19 hit us.
I used to be working for nearly 20years of my life and once I stop and being jobless, I was starting to feel lost. I was needing help in silence. Nobody comes and talk me out of it.
During the first year of Covid-19, me and my spouse have been planning a lot of things just to survive. I know he's trying too. I know he's more stress that me.
I guess my partner didnt help me go through it as he himself was having depression as well. He was already diagnosed long before me for having Dysthymic Disorder, which i know from the Hospital in my hometown prescription letter.
So what happen when two depress people got stuck together? Its chaos. Its toxic and its a painful experience. The worst things was, I even diagnose with Panic Disorder.
I would be lying on bed and scared to death. Been going in and out the emergency room and clinics. Everytime I went for it, the result will always be the same until I was send over to see a PYS.
Dear readers, if you know somebody that have been quite and stuck in their room for more than a week or two, do check on them. There was a sign that might be can help them get through it without thinking drastically.
For me,the sign was:
- Stuck in the room for nearly 2 weeks plus without talking to anybody.
- Too tired to sleep to tired to do anything.
- Can't eat,or else I'll vomit.
- My heart keep on racing and my blood pressure will rise.
- I feel so useless.
- I cried alone in silent.
And there's more which I can't remember.
Do check on your friends and your loved one every once in a while. A simple hello might save their life.