Have you ever wondered how someone you hardly knew, and will never know, became so special to you?
Two strangers, one stop.
It was the first time I met him. And also the last time.
...
I arrived in America on a windy Friday afternoon, after the Canada trip. A friend - Jen - had agreed to let me stay in her apartment for the next six months. I would head for Mexico after that. I decided so while struggling with my huge old valise. I had never stopped in a place for longer than six months.
"Need some help?" a man’s voice asked.
"Thank you," I beamed as the man came by to help with the luggage.
He pulled it effortlessly towards the bench. He sat down, leaving a room for me. Reluctantly, I sat down too and looked around. Jen hadn't come. It was just the two of us on this empty rail platform. The man was reading something intensively, silent like a statue.
I'd guess he was around thirty, looking absolutely comfortable in his navy jacket and a neat backpack, as if he had never got off from that exhausting 5-hour rail trip. A few strands of dark hair fell loosely on his forehead. A subtle smile on his lips. It somehow reminded me of Bryce from the movie 'Flipped' that I used to watch as a child. He felt my staring and closed the small book in his hands. 'Homeland' - the cover said.
"Where are you going?" he asked in a low, deep voice. His voice. A voice I can't forget.
I froze for a second. Where am I going? My mind went blank. Never had I prepared for such a question.
"I... don't know." I replied in a subdued voice, staring at the ground.
"Not yet," he corrected me.
I blushed as he turned to face me. Blue eyes. An infinite blue. My escape. Calling to me.
"Well, I'm gonna stay with a friend here in America but I haven't figured out my next destination yet!" I blurted out, like a child questioned by her father.
All of a sudden, Mexico no longer felt that sure. That spontaneous future plan was fading.
"Well, then maybe this will help, huh?" he said while pulling something out of his backpack.
A pocket map.
Wanderers like me receive free mementos all the time.
Okay. Simple enough. Just gratefully take it and say thank you with a smile. Gratefully take it and say thank you with a smile.
But I could not utter a word. Somehow this man made such a simple welcome look just as deep as the ocean in his eyes. So I started planning some conversations in my head. I could have asked for his name. Or at least I could have told him how thankful I was and that the gift was so cute. Could have cast some jokes on how it looked like a treasure map. But hardly had I done any of those things, that I heard Jen shouting my name in the distance.
"You’re welcome," he said as he took my hand and gently placed the map in it, didn’t even wait for my thank you, "So that’s your friend, right?"
And I just wish Jen had forgotten me that day.
"Yes, I’m sorry I have to go. Really hoped we could talk more."
I tried not to show my disappointment.
"Me too. Here, let me help you."
He bent forward and helped with the luggage again. From this angle, I could see his long, dark eyelashes and the small scar on his nose. In a moment, I realized how little time is left for us. My eyes moved all over his face, trying to remember every shade of it. Jen came with a hug, which made it even clearer - we're saying goodbye. And then he will be blown away from my life like a speck of dust, unable to be seen.
Thoughts raced through my brain. I could have asked for his name. But what for? Just another passerby I may never meet again.
Jen led us to the car. We were walking side by side. For no reason I still felt an urge to say something before we said goodbye.
"Anyway, thank you for the map! I think will find out my next stop soon."
He just smiled lightly, no reply. We said goodbye. And he could have let it end that way. But he didn't.
"Will you stay?" came his voice from behind me.
Blue eyes straight into mine just before I got into the car. I choked on my reply. It struck my heart.
In that moment, the colorful picture of Mexico with its spicy dishes, mariachi, sombreros - all vanished into the mild September air under his spell.
I can still clearly remember him seeing me off with a warm smile. Still remember myself cuddling in Jen's car, gazing at the bright red "X" drawn precisely on the location of our station. I turned around and he was still looking towards the car, but going further and further away from me. As if he would always stand there, looking out for me till the end of time.
I keep believing so, even though he was no longer there the next day when I rushed to our station.
So I kept rushing.