This week, I received an eviction notice from my landlord.
The reason?
I’m loud.
I’m relatively a good tenant. I mean, I always pay my rent on time, I do not make parties and I barely have people coming over. I constantly play music when I’m home but sound isn’t excessive and I think my musical tastes are pretty good, so why would my landlord living above me complain about the noise?
Well…
It started a few months ago… My landlord, let’s call him Harold, came to fix my leaking sink. As we were casually talking about different topics, he started saying that he put extra isolation on his side of our sharing door. You see, my bedroom is right the other side of their laundry room, in the basement suite. You can smell what is coming….
The thing is, not only when they are doing laundry they can hear what’s going on in my place. Even when they are upstairs, having a nice and quiet family dinner, they can hear everything. And by that I mean, every-fucking-thing. Once Harold told me it was funny hearing me shhhhh’ing at the dog I was babysitting and having him barking even more. Dude trust me, if he can hear me shhhhh’ing, he can hear all the dirty talk and the spanking and I’m pretty sure he can also hear me sucking my boyfriend’s dick in the morning. because, you know, sloppy BJs aren’t quiet. Oops.
Ok so, I knew what the isolation was for… before the words came out of his mouth, I was already struggling thinking what to say. Then it started….
“You are having fun and that’s alright Marie you know… but we are a family and this is not really appropriate. The walls are very thin.”
….. ok yea… sorry? i don’t know… what do you say to that? …It won’t happen again? Yes it will…
I just nodded and smirked…
Seriously, I was embarrassed, but the truth is that I just couldn’t apologize…. I know I am loud, but loud is so much better…. like music in a car and pipes on a bike… It just gives you straight endorphins and that, my friend, I don’t apologize for.
Of course we are trying to cover our love making sounds with music or a movie, but I guess it’s not enough…
Harold and his wife came together to hand me the letter. Very diplomatically, they explained me why the matter is no longer negotiable. We have to move out.
Apparently last Wednesday was the straw that broke the camel’s back…
And now that I rethink of that particular night…. it makes me laugh, cause we had a porno on that night, so the sounds were probably not even ours… unless I was loudest than the chick who was enjoying Rocco Siffredi’s massive eggplant, but I doubt it….
Ah well. I am not upset or even embarrassed anymore. Like I said as a response to them, I believe in self expression and expression of love in its most genuine form. I take no shame in sexuality and I won’t compromise my relationship for anyone.
So yeah, I’m being evicted because '[I] utter too loudly during [my] sexual intercourses'.
Something in me takes pride in this.... an other something laughs very much and the other something gets kinda turned on by it.... Should I be ashamed? maybe... but I'm not. ;)
Some things don't change.
