Its like moving into a new house.
At first you are very excited. Its all unfamiliar. It doesn’t matter whether its an old or a new place – it’s your new home.
So you start making it feel like one.
You paint the walls in a color that you like, you put cabinets, you fix the wardrobe or you buy a new table. You want it to be cozy. After all - this your home.
There might be some things that you don’t like – so you try to change them. Maybe the living room is too square, so you get a round sofa, or maybe the bedroom is too small, so you give up on the king size bed you dreamed to have rest in. But you don’t pay attention. This is your new home.
Then life starts to happen. You realize you need a bigger bed because you can’t sleep well. The apartment feels too small and it suffocates you, so you doubt whether you should have invested in a bigger one. So you start thinking.
Why? - You chose it. You thought it would feel like home.
But you don’t want to go to a new place either. So you start redecorating. You put flowers in the living room so you don’t feel so square, and you buy new sheets for the bedroom, hoping it would bring different life into it. But it doesn’t work out. You still have nightmares at night. You still think that the sofa can’t change the squareness of the living room no matter what you try or do.
You start asking yourself questions. Did I make the right choice. Is this my real home. Should have I chosen more carefully. But as much as you doubt – you still love this place. You have put your heart into it. You wanted to make it your home. And you keep believing that the effort that you’ve put into it will pay off.
The thing is – this apartment will never get bigger. And you can’t have a king size bed in it. It just can’t fit. And the different color of the walls doesn’t make them larger, nor the flowers in the living room you buy every week. But damn it, if you love this place, then why it doesn’t make you happy. Why does it give you bad dreams and why can’t you feel relaxed when you come back.
And then you know. You can’t change it.
You can either sell it, or tear it to the ground. You can either buy a new place with the criteria you have, or build one. Either way – you need to make a choice. And you’ve put so much love and devotion into this place – you wanted it to be your home so bad….
So what is it gonna be – stay there, tear it down and build it up, or have a new one?
You choose. Its your house...
Its your relationship.