Dear Diary 17.08.2017
I don’t have many regrets in my life but the most recent one is that I didn’t keep my romantic relationship completely and utterly private. I wished that we had kept t away from every other person that we knew because… everyone has an opinion about it and they just love to share it with you.
“This won’t work, he’s still in love with me!” (said his Ex)
As hard as I tried not to, I became insecure and frightened that I was just a stop gap and he’d never fully commit to me because he had some love Goddess that he still yearned for.
She’s not right for you, Son” (said his Mum)
The fact that none of his previous partners had been right for him either didn’t deter that nagging doubt that he would eventually listen to his Mum and dump me.
He’s a Taurus and you’re a Gemini. You’ll kill one another! (said one of my colleagues)
Taurean males can’t stand the flirtatious nature of the Gemini female, apparently! But we had worked this far and I’d made sure that I had put my flirtatious personality on Gas mark 1 and I actually enjoyed his Taurean stubbornness. In fact, I found it quite sexy to know that I couldn’t get away with blue murder anymore… well until he left me and said he wasn’t coming back. That’s not sexy at all!
Does he know about your temper? You might scare him off. (Said my best friend)
Oh God yes! My temper. It only flares if I feel challenged but I’d done a lot of work on it in the past and it was nowhere near as bad as it was when I was younger. I did explain to him right at the start that there are two sides to me and I asked him if he could handle it and he said that he could. He’s a strong man. A real Alpha Male, so he should be okay. However, this was the factor that I worried about least and it was ultimately my downfall.
I truly feel that if I had, had no contact and no advice from other individuals, I wouldn’t be in this situation now. I wouldn’t have brooded on things that other had said, so I wouldn’t have got angry and we would still be together.
If, and this is a big IF he were to ever return to me (one live in hope), I would not tell another living soul that we were seeing one another again until we had been together for at least two years. That way, we could enjoy our time together without the constant interference of others.