I just received my Performance Appraisal Form (PAF) rating and I was satisfied with whatever's in that paper, albeit there are still areas to work on. And that's fine. It's a work in progress. I am a work in progress.
To be honest, one of the reasons why I haven't maintained this blog this past few months is because I struggled with everything. I have to prioritize myself first, so a writing dry spell is inevitable. I usually vent out by travelling or by just simply going somewhere to refocus and recalibrate my views on everything: my life, myself, my surroundings, and my goals. Lately, everything's becoming chaotic and messy, so my default way is to vent out using methods that usually work for me. It worked out before, but it didn't lately. Not really lately because it has been going on for quite a while.
I'm usually frustrated at the end of the day because of the things that didn't work out the way I wanted them to be. I became a control freak. I wanted things to go as planned. In my line of work and my usual inclination, dealing with data sets excites me. But when dealing with people, this is where things start to get complicated and messed up. The most unpredictable parameter in a certain system is human behavior. Dealing with people is draining for me, but I don't have a choice. Unless I wanted to become a hermit and hide in the mountains, I should level up my game.
It seemed to be negative up to this point, but I have to cut it short because the real purpose of this post is not to rant and share my frustrations. Maybe I will share my frustrations in another post depending on the mood and relevance. That will be for another day.
Today, I just want to share what caught my eye in that PAF. What's written in that paper as one of the positive aspects in me is this:
Have high sense of responsibility and accountability.
Now, I will focus on that area from now on. This is not to brag, but to share some perspectives that can be a medium to ponder on. To be honest, I worked for that in myself. I always tell myself that I should be accountable in everything that I say or do. In a sense, I should always be the first auditor of myself. People's perspective and opinion about me will just be secondary.
Now, why am I sharing this?
It's because of what happened lately that's related to Steem. You see, when money is involved, I don't believe that people are naturally altruistic. I'm sure I've read somewhere that people are naturally greedy. I'm not sure if I remember it well, but it is said that greed is part of the evolution of man as self-preservation. In short, it made sense to look out for yourself first before taking others into consideration.
That's fine up to some extent, but greed doesn't end too well, both on the person itself and the community as a whole. At first those greedy bastards might end up winning while the community is losing, but in the long run, both will be losers. Nothing ends well with greed.
Where does Steem fit in this scenario?
I have to back track a little bit, well almost two years ago, when I started on Steem. I started posting when the price of Steem was better than it is now. It was just fun and games. Nothing serious because I didn't believe it at first. It was just too good to be true. My main motivation is just to have fun while having a blog because that's really one of my goals. That time, Steem is almost synonymous to Steemit because it's one of the very few front-ends of Steem. When you're talking about Steemit, blogging is the first word that comes to our mind before.
But at the eve of December 7, 2017, the price of SBD exploded. The price of Steem also followed afterwards and the rest is history leading to where we are now. Now, the price of Steem is lower than its price when I started. Steem is no longer equated to Steemit and a lot of Steem front-ends have been made to cater almost all of the niche available.
I read @exyle's blog and I was caught when he mentioned that @starkerz said that the price of Steem now is its bare value. Its speculative value has been depleted and it can no longer ride on speculations because what we have now is a working product. That sets me into perspective and made me ponder on a few things.
Am I the only one who's happy with the current price?
I'm not really 100% happy with the price because you know, it means less dollars earned in a post, but I'm still happy because the bare value of Steem also reveals the bare behavior of people, at least in my case.
Let me share to you my perspective of what happened to @steemph.cebu to give an example of my case. Those who were introduced to Steem before me became de facto leaders of the community. Everything's working fine in the beginning. A lot of initiatives were conceptualized and a handful of them were realized.
Early 2018 when both Bitcoin and Steem were smashing the charts, those leaders were really working hard to promote Steem here in Cebu. Everyone's in high spirits and started earning more than decent amounts. Those leaders were looked up in the community. They were earning a lot because they enjoy the votes of @donkeypong, @surpassinggoogle, and sometimes @acidyo, to name a few. Cebu was one of the hotspots in the whole world when cryptocurrencies became part of the daily news.
When the Bitcoin bubble popped and continued its decline, the altcoins followed after including Steem. This was the start of a long crypto-winter. It was slow and agonizing. People started to lose interest as their earnings were not the same as before. What started as daily posting of shitposts and shenanigans became weekly updates and then became sporadic posts. I'm not exempted in this because I have my share in this trend. The blockchain doesn't lie so you can look up to my blog for evidence.
I was in denial at first. I thought I was happy because the decline in value weeded out those who are joining the bandwagon. It was fine for me because I was able to determine those who truly cared about blogging and the community. Slowly and one-by-one the leaders also followed. I can't blame them if they thought it wasn't worth their precious time. What's left was a great void of silence and emptiness that was once a community of diverse people from diverse backgrounds with diverse talents.
The massive void that was left by some leaders made one leader to fill that void. It was fine at first as he was able to unite the few remaining Steemians here in Cebu. Maybe because of that immense power and influence that was left unchecked and unbalanced, greed overwhelmed and corrupted him. There's no accountability and responsibility. He started to make decisions without consulting the community first and if questioned, he felt entitled. He had so many dubious schemes I had trouble recounting.
There's no transparency in his actions, but as they say, there's no secret that could be kept forever. Everything made sense now because the blockchain has its receipts. I'm not condemning him because it has no purpose anymore. Based on the latest events that transpired outside the blockchain, he seemed to be entitled and unapologetic of his actions. If he can't recognize the repercussions of his own actions, there's no point in arguing with him.
Now, I guess it's in the point of no return. I left a question after what happened: What's the purpose of having the money if you lose all your friends?
I'm just an average Joe with below average moral compass. I don't claim moral ascendancy by sharing this because I have my fair share of greed in this platform. But I'm learning to be accountable and responsible of my actions and I'm still learning the process. By being transparent, I think we can police ourselves and be accountable of our own actions. I guess we should start reassessing ourselves if our greed has brought us here. Only then, it might be possible to increase the bare value of Steem.
There are a lot of good people here, but there are also a lot of people who only think about themselves. It's always a tug-of-war between those people. If good people are more than those greedy and self-centered people, there might be a chance.
I guess I am loser, but I don't easily give up. I started Steem when it's less than a dollar and I'm still here when it's way less than a dollar. I'm not ready to give up yet when most of my friends are already gone. I was here when one of my post earned 349 STU and that was when SBD was at around $13. I was able to withdraw Php 46,000.00 (it's a big money in a developing country like the Philippines) as SBD reward for that post alone. I'm still here when this post will probably earn cents. If I'm not posting, rest assured I'm here somewhere, lurking in the shadows of this blockchain.
Probably, I will still be here when HF21 will take effect. Let's see where all of this lead us. I guess it all started as a social experiment by @ned and I guess it might end up being one and the same - a massive social experiment.
-Kim-