Have you ever experienced something you considered to be “paranormal” or “esoteric.” Maybe you have a strong feeling that you aren’t alone in your room at night, or perhaps you see glimpses of movement out of the corner of your eye. You aren’t crazy. It’s actually pretty normal for humans to sense or see spirits, especially at night as the distance between realms is apparently lessened. Recently when I smoke marijuana, I’ve been experiencing extremely heightened senses and a feeling that spirit is trying to communicate with me. Soon after I start to “shift” my ego freaks out and brings me back into “reality,” or this third dimensional reality that feels safe to me. For a while now, I have been trying to open my third eye. I meditate regularly, chant mantras, eat a plant-based/raw diet, avoid fluoride and consume turmeric regularly. I never experienced anything supernatural, so I gave up. I did start to experience extremely beautiful moments of “presence” which moved me to tears, and so I decided that was enough for me. However, recently, my third eye started to open.
It all started a few weeks ago when a bee stung me on my left foot. My foot swelled up to twice its normal size. It was painful to walk and itched fiercely. I’ve experienced several bee stings in my childhood, and none of them affected me like this. I had a weird feeling this happened for a reason. About a week later, I smoked herb with my roommates and became very high. I went back to my bedroom and saw a bee sitting on the top right corner of my bed. I decided to get the bee out of my room without getting stung again, I would have to kill it. A sense of dread filled me as I thought of killing the bee. I apologized to it, and expressed gratitude for it’s life, before grabbing my left shoe and squishing him. I grabbed a piece of paper to carry his body outside, but dropped him in the process. I searched everywhere for his body to no avail. Finally, I noticed the body sitting perfectly erect atop my right shoe. As soon as I saw this, a sense of recognition flooded me. First the bee was on my left foot, then my right. I knew spirit was trying to communicate with me.
I looked up “bee animal totem” and was amazed that the message was exactly what I needed to hear. I then had the urge to see my aura, so I outstretched my hand in front of my white wall, and peered through the space between my pointer and middle finger. A white light surrounded my hand, and then a bright green came into focus. I've never seen my aura so clearly and vividly before, and was amazed at its beauty. I then looked directly at my fingers, and noticed they were purple and yellow, and looked distorted. There were also way more than 5 on my hand. I started to hear a ringing in my left ear, which transitioned into a soft whispering. I tried to concentrate on the whispering and relax. As I did, I started to become aware of a dark shadow to my right. The shadow had a white ring of light around it. As it came more into focus, I felt it's energy. I became scared, and stood up and walked out of the room.
The next day, I felt like a huge coward. I had been asking spirit to communicate with me, to send me signs, and when it did, I ran. I was letting my fear programming win. I became determined that the next time I started to “transition” into another dimension, I would let it happen.
Last night would be the night I again transitioned. It started the same as the first night, I smoked herb with my roommates. As my boyfriend was talking to me, his body began zoning in and out of focus. It looked like he was a mirage, wavering in front of me. I then headed to our room and began breathing deeply. I once again wanted to see my aura, and once again I saw green. I looked up the meaning to find that it described individuals who were very intuitive, sensitive, natural healers, had a strong connection to nature, and had possible psychic abilities.
Reading this filled me with a sense of warmth and recognition. I closed my eyes once again, and began hearing a bizarre noise. It sounded like there was a heavy wind all around me, with leaves rustling. I opened my eyes to see that the ceiling fan was causing a paper I had tacked to my wall to move in the breeze. As soon as I looked directly at the paper, the sound disappeared. When I would look away, it would start again. I began looking up this phenomenon and saw it described as “clairaudience.” As I was looking at my phone, I also noticed something out of my peripheral vision. Another dark figure with a white lining, but this time directly in front of me. I decided to lay down and meditate, and let whatever was wanting to speak to me come through. As I lay there, my body began to melt away, and I felt a sensation of numbness. Then came the cold.
My entire body began to shake uncontrollably, to the point where I was uncomfortable. I got up and put on a sweater, sweatpants and socks. I lay back down and again, my body began to shake. I did not enjoy this sensation at all, so I forced myself up, out of bed. Once again, I had ran away from spirit.
Once again, I was discouraged. I reached out to several of my friends whose third eye was already opened, and regularly had esoteric experiences. Most of them explained that they had resisted several times before letting “it” happen. One of my friends, Rosanne, told me that it helped her when she told her ego “we can come back.” In my mind, when I think of the metaphysical, I think of every paranormal movie I’ve ever seen. Demons with red eyes, succubus', inanimate objects moving suddenly, people being possessed and haunted... It’s silly, but my ego still associates this fear with the metaphysical. I know there are dark entities, but there are also angels, spirits, spirit guides, and a beautiful unconditional love which I’ve never been able to access before.
They say you must master your darkness before you can master the light. I am on a continuous mission, to get a grip on this fear that seems to paralyze my being; to push past the dark into the immaculate light. If you are reading this, and have had a similar experience, I would love to hear from you, and how you learned to stop resisting “transition.” Until next time friends, Namaste.