It tears you apart, it cuts you in half, it takes away everything you ever loved. It shows you all of your hidden demons, even those you thought that left long time ago. It turns you upside down, throws you off balance, makes you cry...it takes away everything you were ever attached to, points out each and every, even the slightest imbalance. It kills you, so you can be born again. Yes, I am speaking about enlightenment, dear readers, although many of you would never imagine such word after the description above. Yes indeed, I speak about enlightenment.
Does it sound scary and terrifying? Of course. Is it worth it? Absolutely. More than anything else. So you can live again and call your life LIFE. Even that would be enough for me. But under this surface exists something so much more beautiful, unimaginable, something that is very difficult to express with words. It's a feeling, it's a knowingness, it's a passion. It is something that drives me forward, into unknown, although the barriers on this path are many times extremely tough, horrifying. But I KNOW, I am not going back. I actually can't, if I am honest. There is no greater love than the one you feel for yourself, there is no greater bliss than really being able to love your tears and there is no greater joy than the feeling of being completely aware and unconcerned. Let me call this the TRUE FREEDOM.
Living without obligations is for most people nothing less than a really scary thought. Who am I, if I am not occupied with anything and valued. Where shall I go, if no one tells me, what is good and what is right? Why even being on Earth, if I don't have any roles, goals, duties...nothing I'd have to do or take care of?
Hmm...excellent question, but the answer is for some of us totally simple, of course. And exactly here, at this point, the enlightenment really expresses itself. At this point, all of those, who are looking at spirituality from a distance, we could say "as a hobby", are separated from those of us, who gave our lives and existence in the hands of our soul, our divine I AM presence and allowed ourselves the big trust, the mind can only dream of. Being a creator means only one thing. I exist - and that's it. Everything else is just an expression of that. In this space of deeper and deeper trust in yourself, miracles begin to happen.
However, it is necessary, to be 'prepared'. The process of enlightenment does indeed eat you alive, points out all your limitations and pains, clears everything you thought you were in order to discover who you truly ARE. The creator, divine being, consciousness - expression is not essential. The beauty is in the state, when you allow yourself to let go of everything that represented you or better said, burdened you, so you can now in all of your Awesomeness see the world and yourself in a New Light.
Enlightenment is for the brave ones. I'm gonna be completely honest as I always want to be. Most of the people who engage in "spirituality", yoga and other stuff, don't have any clue at all, what we're talking about here and no 'commitment' to touch this divine state of trust, which demands your death, before it gifts you the limitless freedom (where everything is possible). Death of your ego, beliefs, old roles, emotions, karma, contracts and so much more...and more. There is indeed an 'infinite, huge' number of aspects.
But, so we don't get the feeling that I wanted to show this natural process, which happens all by itself and we call "enlightenment", in 'dark' perspective only, I will absolutely emphasize and point out the fact, that it is possible to find a lot of joy and pleasure in this crazy run. Happiness and abundance. Love and passion. Only if you allow. The more you resist the change, the more it hurts. Yes, then it tears you apart, cuts you, burns you. Because on a deeper, soul 'level', you've already chosen. And you will come there in any case. Maybe sooner, maybe later. It doesn't matter. On a spiritual level there is no time. At least not in a sense we perceive it. On a spiritual level time is being 'measured' with experiences. Soul in all its amazing creativeness distills the wisdom from all events (earthly and not-earthly), despite of the fact that situations seem sometimes tedious to us, not humane; other times full of joy and playfulness. From the soul perspective everything is only an experience. So let's laugh at this, if we are able to.
For the soul, also the process of enlightenment, integration of all its aspects, path into the complete love for yourself, is only an experince. You choose by yourself, in what way you want to experience it. We will not deny, there are various surprises on the way there, which we are many times not so eager to see. But however, you can find your oasis in this grand game, which is taking place inside and around you. With the awareness that everything is just the way it should be, because it was YOU who chose this process, it all becomes immensely easier.
It's still going to hurt at times, you are exposing your demons. You picked them up during lifetimes on Earth and even before that. There are layers, layers of lies and in a certain moment you realize after all, what kind of illusion and game it all was. This is when you get angry, you weep and laugh - you become aware, you were the creator the whole time and how easy it is to step out of the 'old way of living'. Like you would leave the bus on the first station or walk away from a card game, when you feel like doing it (well, old passions, attachments and people want to drag you right back into it, but when you are determined enough, it's already chosen).
Did I excite you about completely discovering and following yourself? I don't know and I don't care. It is a personal process. Intimate experience without comparison. Each and everyone can only choose it for themselves. I could have told you already at the beginning, that once you are here, there is no way back. You can try and you will. But it hurts, it hurts to much and it is uncomfortable to walk around in shoes that don't fit you. When you know, when you truly feel how extraordinary grand you are, you can't stay small anymore.
All expressions like "spirituality, light, love" etc. sound pretty funny. Who would not want to have a better partner, amazing charisma and younger looks? Probably everyone would. But the absolute truth is, and of course I am writing this from my own experience, that all of the attributes mentioned above, have got really nothing to do with pure spirituality. Quite the contrary. They are a big "blocker" of your own progress, because they are birthing expectations, and that distances you even more from who you truly are in your essence.
I smile with an open heart, when I read the lines above and I am aware that everyone is going to realize their enlightenment one day. It is a natural process and is going to happen in any case. I did choose it NOW and I am so proud of myself and all the experiences I went through till this present moment. Only rare individuals beside me, did truly choose it in this time. I feel deep love and respect for these beings, a genuine compliment from me to them.
So, I will point out one more time, that enlightenment is an intimate personal process, the greatest love story of all times, which belongs only to you. The only being that is important is YOU, because you are indeed the only being that exists in universe. And I'll let everyone have their own explanations about this topic, anyway they feel (I'll go deeper into it in another article).
Enlightenment truly is an extremely difficult process, but the state in which it brings you, is without the doubt worth every single slightest step. I saw, I felt and I kissed that day!
I am already there, I only need to allow...
Why not? Why not, dear souls? Let this metaphor bring this article to the end: 'This is not a recreational football match, what I am describing, is Champions league and so much more!'
With love,
Julian La Erosius
LET ME ADD: Enlightenment is always present, it's not in a far distance, you only need to allow it to come close and it presents itself in all its glory! Let's forget that you ever felt small, now it's time for great things - at first just for you and then later on also others see your Standard, charm and beauty. Like this, by being YOU, you show them on a feeling level, that absolutely everything is possible. But who wants to be famous, while it is a burden...well, maybe not for a Master!
