Before we make the things and experiences in our lives truly beautiful we have to take down the ugly, the dirty, the non-functional.
We have to descend before we ascend.
This inner-standing came to me while I was crawling down through a very narrow and steep tunnel to the lowest chamber of the Giza pyramid, to create a spectacular ritual with my sisters and brothers, after which we had to crawl up to the Queen's chamber and King's chamber.
Descending and ascending.
First, we have to travel to the deepest layers, we transform whatever has been dwelling in the abyss for ages and re-create the firm foundation of the new to build world. Inner and outer. Because how we feel inside, what our being vibrates exactly resonates with our experience of life.
We are right on that path, all of us, together, in this very moment.
We are taking down the ugly, the dirty, the non-functioning.
We are breaking the chains while diving deep into our own drama to get ready to unmask ourselves.
To step into our true identity.
Identity of a loving being who just knows how to break up with the evil system that has been keeping us in jail for so long.
We are remembering that we are beings who know who we are, where we came from, and where we want to go.
We know our destination.
And we will not rest until we get there. We have our strength and we are being guided out of the dark.
So now, let's take down the ugly.
🐸 To prepare for the healing journey with Bufo medicine I was drawn to visit a beautiful jungle retreat Xibalba and participate in a few cleansing rituals like Temazcal, Rapé, and Kambo. I wrote about my Temazcal experience in a previous article. It was magic and it left me very refreshed.
The next morning a shaman was waiting for me in the Temple. It was a very sweet man dedicated to plant medicine with many years of experience. After a short talk, I felt very comfortable with him and fully trusted the upcoming process. All I knew was that this medicine comes from a frog and he explained to me well how it is harvested and used. He gave me all information about what to expect, how I might feel, and how long it takes. Meanwhile, I had to drink lots and lots of water, I was getting nauseous just from those amounts. I drank at least nine big glasses in less than an hour. Then he asked me if I was full. I looked up and just nodded. He smiled and said: “Good, you can have one more.” With all my willpower I drank almost the whole glass but couldn't get myself to finish.
🐸 I was ready to receive the Kambo and so he made three tiny scarfs on my shoulder where the medicine would be entering my body moments later. It was my first time and so he told me that three might be enough, if not, he will add another one.
He didn't need to. A few seconds later I started to feel light palpitations and rush. It was as if my face was getting terribly swollen. I remembered he told me to stay alert and breath deeply. I stared out of the Temple window and connected with nature. I was talking to myself to calm myself down, to surrender to the medicine. Just a few moments later all the water started to come out. I barely grasped the bucket in front of me. It was coming meanwhile the shaman was sitting in front of me and sang a beautiful healing song gently beating on the drum.
He was encouraging me to keep going, to get the toxins out of my liver and gal bladder. Something I wished for a long time. Some years ago I did great cleanses with prolonged water fasting but in the time between then and now I know I polluted myself again. But these toxins are not just physical.
There are emotions kept in our liver, especially anger and frustrations. I was so happy I was able to release it all and while doing so I was affirming the things I wanted to let go of in my life. I threw everything into the bucket. It was of the lime green color, I’ve never seen something like that.
When I thought I was done he came to me, took my hand, and softly commanded me to put the finger in my throat. He was helping me and it felt so natural and comfortable with his support during a situation that many would experience as disgusting. He looked at my face and said that I was done. He recognizes it because it depends on the color of the face, he explained to me. And I too felt like nothing else wants to come.
🐸 He then told me to seek a nice tree and offer my bucket to Mother Nature so she can transmute it.
While I stood by the tree I chose, I was looking into the bucket and found some interesting things.
It looked like there were tiny flowers. I gave it all to the Earth with thanks and gratitude.
I felt super energized and light. Ready for fruity breakfast prepared for me by a lovely woman.
After that, I went to the cenote for a refreshing swim and took it easy for the rest of the day.
I was ready for the Bufo which would take place the next morning. My whole being was excited.
So grateful for this place, for the call I heard, and for my courage to follow through with all these unknown experiences. I felt like a lot came off me that day. I am truly grateful for this work and for my life that is bringing me these extraordinary encounters. Life is a precious gift and we have to do anything in our power to truly realize it.
~Nika 🐸
