Past few days have been consisting of extreme amounts of gut pain with slight breaks of sitting on the toilet and spraying every ounce of liquid inside my body out of my ass in a terribly foul liquid the consistency of warm syrup. I'm sure anyone who has had a stomach bug and "couldn't trust their own farts" knows exactly what I'm talking about. The good news is I haven't shat my bed yet, the bad news is more than a few trips to the can with my butthole clench and hand over my ass have been run the past 12 hours. It's gotten to the point now I've got a solid 1 1/2 hour turn around between drinking water and it being sprayed out..
I guess at the very least after this my colon should be cleansed... Right? FML, this is not fun at all.
We're long passed trying to wipe the ass sludge away with ease and instead now have opted for a few wipes to clean the majority of the mess up then a brief foray into the shower in some wild attempt to make sure any splashback or ball slime has been washed away, cleansing my ass sins.
Cycling between hot and cold sweats while all this happens as well. If I didn't know any better I'd say I was some junkie coming off of a heroin binge or something but thankfully not been doing a whole lot of heroin so I'm chalking up this misadventure to eating some raw hot-dog from kirkland..
(I know, I know... Hot dogs? I deserve these incredibly explosive shits just for eating that trash..)
My gut pain is slowly fading as I'm sure whatever it is in my intestines has had a majority of it's evil shat out with ewxtreme force. Still dare not trust farting anywhere but on the toilet but hopefully if I get something in my belly here in the next bit I'll be able to start focusing back on coding stuff that hasn't been getting done the past few days. We'll see how the day goes I guess!
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