Sometimes, relationships fail because one or both partners won't budge on changing. They're stuck in their ways, forcing the other person to hit the road and find someone else. But then there are those people who get into a relationship solely intending to change their partner. Like, they see their partner as some project or something. And don't even get me started on those "dating coaches" you see online. They're all about shaping men and women into this idea of "perfect partner material." That may not even be authentic to who they are meant to be.
It's Not You
It won't work out if you force someone to change and they're not doing it because they want to. They'll return to their old ways because they're not being themselves. Then, they'll have to see if their partner likes who they are. It's super frustrating to feel like your partner doesn't appreciate you, and all the time is wasted throughout the process.
They Should Be Growing, Not Necessarily Changing.
A person should want to grow and improve themselves throughout the relationship. This will be determined by what they want out of life and how they want to accomplish their goals.
There are situations where they may be going down a genuinely awful path. I see nothing wrong with giving your input in these situations out of genuine care for the other person. But you shouldn't try to force them in a direction in life that they clearly don't want to go.
Lack Of Respect
If you respected them as a unique individual, you probably wouldn't work so hard to change them. For men, Respect is everything. And nothing is a louder announcement of "I don't respect you." Then, you constantly undermine him and try to change the core traits of who he is. It's one thing to encourage a slight change of an annoying habit. But it's essential to keep in mind how often this is occurring. If it's constant, he'll feel micromanaged like a child.
They Aren't Right For You
Many people are in relationships with people they don't even like. They "settle" for someone they consider awful and then work hard to change them into the person they originally wanted. It's so much easier to find that person from the start. The person you are with will NEVER be a perfect match for the person you want them to be. And depending on how unrealistic your expectations are, They may not even be close. It's essential to self-evaluate what you expect from a relationship and how feasible it is for people to match that. You can meet your own needs while being in a relationship. It would help if YOu weren't putting it all on your partner. That's a lot to ask for.
You shouldn't be in a relationship if you expect to control every part of who your partner is and their life. You should do your best to love and accept them for who they are. And the value they bring into your life. Find someone who matches what you are looking for.