In review of a certain political party in my country coming out to apologise to the people of Nigeria yesterday, Id like to say a few words concerning our manner of apologising.
It has been proven that saying sorry has healed and solved a lot of issues. For some it didn't work never the less. This might be due to the fact that it was done the wrong way.
Let's first begin with an excerpt.
Also He spoke this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other men—extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess.’ And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”
Luke 18:9-14 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/luk.18.9-14.NKJV
We have two people here asking for Gods forgiveness. We can derive a few wrong approaches.
1.Comparison
While asking for forgiveness from God or men it is totally wrong to compare. It is a sign of insincerity. A lot of people do this. Its wrong to say stuff like; Am sorry, but atleast I didn't hit you like your ex? Or, Am sorry, but people do worse things.
2.Not being specific
You need to be as specific as you can. It is not good enough to say "am sorry" just like that. Saying what your sorry for is a way to show the other person you are not mincing words or confused of the decision you have taken.
3.Your physical expression
Body language is very important in whatever we do. A wrong, disconnected body language can send an opposite message and further aggravate the situation. In the excerpt above the 2nd man refused to lift up his eyes, and he beat his chest. Even without saying much his composure has said a lot.
4.Intentions
It is not good enough to say sorry because you want peace to reign or you desire a selfish ambition. You need to do it right to get the right results. You need to mean it. Some times your not even at fault but because it is up to you, you need to do it right. Connect with the other persons feelings.
Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.
Bruce Lee
Saying your sorry and asking for forgiveness is not an easy task. As I said a few lines above;some times your not even totally at fault. But taking this bold step can be what will save the relationship.
Seeking for forgiveness in the right way is very important to achieve the essence of the act.
