Sounds like a toxic relationship. I'm glad to hear you're at a point where you can explore self expression again without someone trying to control you though! At my current point in life I refrain from dressing too crazy all that often, but it's mostly because I ran out of fucks to give. Occasionally for an event or something I'm all about it though, and am glad to have a partner that is on board with that. I think it's really important in any relationship to be supportive and while there may be boundaries it should never get to the point of obsessive control.
RE: Radical self expression