It might be a shock to some but you are not the center of the world. All these experiences come in and can be so overwhelming that we sometimes forget there is an entire world full of people outside of us. All living their own lives, looking for happiness.
So when someone acts rude or mean to us, we might think it has to do with us and we end up taking it personally. As a result we might feel bad about ourselves and it can even end up hurting our self esteem.
But truth to be told. Most people are just focused on themselves, and it’s very likely they just had a bad day and worked it out on you.
So it isn’t a personal thing. People can get lost in their emotions and with a lack of understanding, they try everything to feel better about themselves again. Even if that means putting others down.
What helps me a lot is when a person is mean or rude to me, I just remember we all just want to be happy, and that person must be having a hard time at that moment. I actually most of the time, end up feeling a bit sorry for that person!
I also tend to imagine the person as a little kid trying to get attention, because isn’t that what we are inside?
When we see a kid acting up, we recognize it’s a cry for attention, so why would that be any different for adults?!
I used to have this friend that, looking back now, only was my friend because of pure selfish reasons. As long she could get things done from me, we’d spend time together and we actually had a lot of fun.
After a while she got everything she wanted out of our “friendship” and ever since we stopped talking to each other. I actually tried talking to her about this, asking whether I did something wrong, or if I could help with something, but it was clear she didn’t have any interest in neither talking or spending time together anymore. And that’s where it ended.
You can try and take responsibility address things or trying to figure out what might be the actual issue. Look for proof. Maybe it’s just you who has some warped ideas about the situation.
If it doesn’t work out then that’s the way it is. It’s not a personal thing and it’s not like you can force people to like you or be friends with you. And even so, would you really want to have a forced relationship with a person that just acts that he or she cares?
Understanding that toxic people are people who are lost and just want to be happy, doesn’t mean you have to let them into your life of course. But understanding it’s not a personal thing at least makes it so you can sleep at night, and if you do want to help that person, it allows you to deal with the situation in a better way!
So do you have any toxic people in your life? How did you deal with them?
Here are some other posts you might like!
On asking favors: https://steemit.com/steemit/@athenajade/let-s-spread-that-steemit-love
How I got off my couch and started to run: https://steemit.com/health/@athenajade/couch-to-5k
On how language influences us: https://steemit.com/psychology/@athenajade/do-we-speak-the-same-language
On absolute truths: https://steemit.com/psychology/@athenajade/debate-1-is-there-such-a-thing-as-an-absolute-universal-truth
On the limitations our conditioning puts upon us: https://steemit.com/life/@athenajade/this-inner-cage-called-conditioning
On growing our own potential: https://steemit.com/life/@athenajade/whatever-you-are-doing-you-are-getting-better-at-it
