Debt is normal. I think. But I don't know how to live with it.
I remember getting into debt every month when I ran a business 2 years ago. It was so frustrating. Every month there was one thing or the other hanging above me. I would earn money and it would disappear. I felt trapped.
Now everyone responds to debt the same way. Some people can't survive without being in debt. It's crazy. They think to themselves "have I been in debt this month" when the answer is no, they search for the next person to borrow from.
I have such an absurd fear of debt that I don't even want to accept favours. I feel like I'd have to consciously be nice to a person when they do nice things for me. And then, I feel like I owe this person something. So, I hate accepting favours.
Recently, I needed help. Normally, I would text my brother and borrow money but I needed this money to sort out arrangements for his wedding. So obviously, he wasn't an option.
I texted a friend and said "look, I need help. I know you're busy so if you can't help, I get it"
What's funny about this friend is that on several occasions I've bailed him out of picky situations. And he always pays back. He once told me I was one of the few friends he considers reliable. But I've never considered him reliable or even the possibility of him being a helping hand. Ever!
He texted back and sent me what I needed immediately.
It feels good knowing I have a friend who can be there for me. I rarely have those. Or maybe, I rarely think I do.
Someone once told me that I'm too "self-sufficient". Truth is, I hate feeling indebted. I hate owing. So I clear every debt. Every single kind of debt. I don't owe visits, or " thank you" or "sorrys'.
This is hardly the case for many people.
There are people in my contacts who can't even think about calling me for help. They've overspent their welcome and they know it.
What puzzles me is how often they get into debt. I think people who get in debt so often are trying extra hard to live above their means.
The year I got in debt often, I was buying and living above my means. I was spending on a business that wasn't giving me proper profits. I was trying to make people think I had everything under control when I didn't. I had to stop. That wasn't me.
Living debt-free is satisfying. And the only reason I'm in debt right now is coz I need to live slightly above my means. And what's crazy is, I didn't necessarily have to be in debt. I'm just extra prudent with money kept for different purposes.
What do you think? Is getting in debt always about living above your means? Or am I pushing it too far?
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