I grew up to observe certain traditions in my tribe. Most of them were taught to me by my Dad when I was still a teenager, but as I continued to grow into adulthood, I practically experienced most of the traditions that the Igbos (in Nigeria) hold in high esteem. Although there are some traditions, such as traditional marriage ceremonies, which every family must follow, there's this particular tradition I have seen some families break out of, perhaps due to personal reasons, but which I found worthy to continue even as I raise my new family.
Tradition marriage in my tribe requires the engagement of the kindred, whereby there will be negotiation and agreement between the bride's and groom's families, and a dowry will be paid for the bride. Once this dowry is paid based on the agreement between the two families and their clan, the marriage has officially been sealed even before the white wedding; however, not everyone observes the white wedding after observing the traditional marriage rites. In this case, any child born from this traditional union is considered legal.
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However, the part of tradition that I would love to continue with, is not giving a child born outside marriage to the man responsible for the pregnancy. If a man has a child outside of marriage, our tradition doesn't recognize such a child as a bonafide member of the community until the man performs all traditional rites and marries the lady in question. However, these days, most young people take actions that will lead to birthing a baby, and the guy will only request the child without bothering about the mother. This tradition, to me, helps to make young people conscious of the way they live their lives with regards to not having an intimate relationship with a lady with whom they don't have genuine love for marriage. Some families just let go and give away the child to the father without performing martial rites, maybe because the guy isn't rich or came from a bad family. I will ensure to train my kids to be aware of this tradition and how I take it personally. Before you start an intimate relationship with anyone, be sure you genuinely love the person, and also consider the implications of birthing outside of marriage.
Kids deserve parents who are loving and caring. They deserve to be treated with love and emotional support, so I feel that if a man isn't ready to take responsibility, he shouldn't take actions that will lead to bringing a life to the world because even if the child is left in the care of the man or the woman, he will be deprived of the parental care and upbringing from both parents.
As much as some tribes in Igbo land are strict with this tradition, some aren't, but the above reasons are why I love this tradition to continue.
This post was inspired by the #inleo community and my entry to the #Aprilinleo monthly topic Day 3.Please check out the announcement post to get involved..
All images are mine, although they are images of my twin brother and his wife, with their permission to use them here.
Thanks for reading❤️❤️❤️